Relationship Men and Women, Friends, Activity Partners

Mar 2009

kepong

http://profiles.friendster.com/100994095

S.J.K. KEPONG 2, S.M.K MENJALARA, K TAR

student

Sagittarius

I have forgotten it’s been how many times I’ve written or told others that I hate English so much. I have no idea why it’s such a hard language for me to learn or probably it’s because of I have language barrier.



Who knows? At least I don’t.



I have no idea how to improve it. I can even say that even I’ve stayed in an English speaking country for couples of years my English will still be that bad. Trust me, I’m serious.



You know what; I hate to say many times of “sorry” while I couldn’t understand what they are talking about in English. I hate to guess what actually they are trying to say while what I could get was just a few words from a sentence they’ve spoken. I hate to just say “uh huh”, “oh yeah”, “really?”, “oh, I see” and etc that kind of stupid and idiot replies to what they’ve said. I hate to explain in English although there is actually much more I could describe and express while using Chinese. I hate to open my mouth just because of English even though I would like to talk sometimes.



It’s somehow depressing, I guess.



I might not be able to write well in English but to be honest my writing is much better than my speaking. I have no idea why others can understand my writing so well instead of my speaking. Is it really hard to speak in English instead of writing in English?



It’s such a weird situation. I would actually seldom think of what I should write while typing. It’s such a fluent flow for me while writing in English. But it couldn’t be in speaking. When I open my mouth and try to speak in English, probably the first few times I could speak fluently but after a while, I can hardly express in English anymore.



I wonder why, but I couldn’t find any answer.



It’s weird, and I hate it.



Somehow I’ve found out albeit my English is much better than those Japanese or Koreans or even Chinese or Taiwanese, they can express much better than me! It sounds ridiculous but it’s true!



I’m frustrated in this stage that I don’t really hate English that much but what it gave me was just frustrating. It’s kind of hard for me to gain confidence for speaking English in either ways but only stop me from expressing in English. It’s sad, somehow, I guess.



I nearly want to give up on improving English. But in the other thought, I shouldn’t give up just like that! Haiz… I guess I don’t have much guts to speak in English anymore.



It’s really a weird scene while I would be so excited the time I speak in Chinese, but when it comes to English, what you can see is I will be so quiet sitting there and listen to others. I won’t even speak a word though!



I wonder what others will think about me. “Oh, this girl is so quiet. Probably she isn’t a talkative person or she is too proud to even open her mouth to speak one or two words.”



I could tell you, I might not a talkative person, but I am definitely not a quiet person if I want to talk.



I’ve been trying hard … okay, not so hard I admit but at least I did put some efforts on trying to improve my English in either listening or speaking. I do realize that my listening has been improved a little, but speaking not even a bit. It’s kinda sad, for me.



What should I do then? Oh Gosh, I’m murmuring again! Trust me, I don’t mean to be mumbling. But what blogs for? It’s for you to write down what you wanna write, isn’t it?



I really hate to just smile instead of trying to speak in English. It looks so idiot you know! I’m so envy of those people who can really speak very well in English and I wonder why I can’t be one of them?



I really wonder why.



I’m not that bad in reading and even writing. Thus speaking shouldn’t be a problem for me. But why do I always meet someone who isn’t patient at all and try to ruin that just a little confidence that I have? Okay, I’m not that kind of persons who will try hard and hard to get what they want although there are huge obstacles trying to stop them from moving on. I will automatically choose the easier path, to be quiet, for instance.



Arrgghhhh…….. seems like I have pushed myself so hard!



I know when I could speak fluent English. It’s when I was so angry and annoyed.



Haha… =)



What can I do then? Try to speak more? Haiz… my confidence has been ruined now. L



There is really a very weird scenario happened on me. I would be so scared if I came to a place where most of them were Asian after I got used to the environment where almost all the people around me were European, and vice versa.



It’s funny, isn’t it?



Haiz… grammar makes me crazy I guess.



I have no idea at all what I should do now! Read more, listen to English more, speak more, and write more, what else? None of them is useful!



Perhaps I should believe that

title="Kisses Myspace Comments">
MyNiceSpace.com心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心
心心心心爱爱爱爱爱心心心心心爱爱爱爱爱心心心心
心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心
心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心
心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心
心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心
心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心
心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心
心心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心心
心心心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心心心
心心心心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心心心心
心心心心心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心心心心心
心心心心心心心心爱爱爱爱爱爱爱心心心心心心心心
心心心心心心心心心爱爱爱爱爱心心心心心心心心心
心心心心心心心心心心爱爱爱心心心心心心心心心心
心心心心心心心心心心心爱心心心心心心心心心心心
心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心心