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"I'm amazing....no,no, seriously. It's fucking scary! I
mean, Jesus, sometimes it's hard to conceive living up to
the..."
More about Gordon
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Occupation:
Molding young minds
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Hobbies and Interests:
Movies, television, music, comedy, games, writing, art, video production, acting, football, sex
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Favorite Books:
Franny and Zoey, Hells Angels, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, Total Television
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Favorite Movies:
Deathrace 2000, The World According To Garp, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Amadeus, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Laws of Gravity, Blade Runner, The Jerk, This Is Spinal Tap, Lost Highway, Apocalypse Now, Bad Santa
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Favorite Music:
Led Zeppelin, Squeeze, Shudder To Think, Craig Wedren, Baby, Liz Phair, Til Tuesday, Aimee Mann, James Brown, Parliment, Thomas Dolby, Adam and the Ants, Etc., Impaled, Sleater Kinney, Griddle, Otis Redding, The New Pornographers
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Favorite TV Shows:
Six Feet Under, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Star Trek, The Simpsons, Mr. Show, T.V. Funhouse, Real Time with Bill Maher, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Daily Show, 60 Minutes, South Park
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About Me:
I'm amazing....no,no, seriously. It's fucking scary! I
mean, Jesus, sometimes it's hard to conceive living up to
the absurdly high levels of my own magnificence. But, of
course, I always manage to do so (as all truly great
individuals throughout history have)! To describe myself
any further in secular terms would only serve to make you
feel worse about not being me- so I shall spare you the
indiginity. Ooooo. Wait a sec. I just soiled myself.
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Who I Want to Meet:
George Carlin, Craig Wedren, Jennifer Connelly, and Boba Fett!
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don a halloween costume since the
7th grade when he started growin'
the tail out into a full-grown mullet.
MAN FOR YEARS NOW AND ALL CAN SAY IS
GORDON IS NOT GAY AND DOES NOT HAVE THE
A.I.D.S....WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THE G-
MAN..WELL FOE FIRST ME AND GORDON
WORKED FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS AT MACY'S
AND HE ALLWAYS GOT TOP HONORS AT THE
STORE..THEN GORDON WENT ON HIS MISSION
TO MECA WHERE HE READ THE KORAN AND ALL
OF A SUDDEN THIS BASTARD BECOMES A
TEACHER...MAN GORDON TEACHES THE YOUTH
I COULD NOT BELEAVE IT ..THIS THE GUY I
SEE GET DRUNK AND RUN DOWN THE OAKLAND
STREETS WITH HIS PANTS DOWN..THIS IS
THE GUY WHO I HAVE HAD TALKS ABOUT WHAT
IS BETTER ANAL SEX OR A TOUNGE IN THE
AZZ...AND NOW HE TEACHES THE KIDS..ONE
OF THE MOMENTS IN MY LIFE WAS AT HIS
BIGGEST MOMENT...WHEN HIS SOON TO BE
FATHER IN LAW AND MOTHER IN LAW SANG A
SONG ABOUT HIM AT HIS WEDDING...I FELT
HIS PAIN..ALL IN ALL THIS GUY FUCKIN
RULES AND IS A GREAT GUY TO HANG OUT
WITH. HIM AND MR FALLS ARE EAST BAY
NINJA'S TO THE CORE..MESS WITH THIS GUY
AND BAMMM YOUR DEAD...ALSO HE IS ONE
HELL OF A DRINKING PARTNER..ANOTHER
THING THIS MUTHER FUCKER CAN CRACK A
JOKE..HE REALLY IS A FUNNY GUY..ALSO HE
IS A ROCK STAR...SO THERE YOU GO A
TEACHER,ROCK STAR.ASS CONUSIER..LADY
LOVING .RAIDER NATION
LOVING,DRINKER,EAST BAY NINJA,AU
COTTON.LOVER,MAN WHAT A MAN A MKJGHTY
GOOD MAN...
obsession with Pony Express Record;
we're planning on hitting the StT 12-
step program soon. Mr. O is a hell of
a songwriter and bassist, and Etc.
rocks. He would have made a hell of a
DJ, but he got fired for cussing on
the air. Curs-ed FCC!! (shakes fist
at the sky)
mundane question, such as: Who
invented the lava lamp? Who was
the first race walker to be inducted
into the National Track and
Field Hall of Fame? How long does
it take Pluto to circle the sun? Or,
Who was the first tennis player to
wear short pants on the court? He
would quickly respond in a
resounding voice with little fan-fare:
Edward Craven Walker, Ron Laird in
1986, 248 years, Henry Wilfred
"Bunny" Austin. . . is that really the
best you can come up with?!
life, but I assure you, he is a much
better quarterback than I am.
life. He's a man who has had an
immeasurable influence on me. A man
that has inspired me to reach heights I
once thought were insurmountable. That
man was former president Jimmy Carter.
I also met Gordon that year. Although
he never ruled over the world's most
powerful nation, he is still a very
pivotal figure in my life. We've been
through a lot together. Oh, the
stories! Like the time I went over to
his house and we got real drunk and
stoned, and watched the Star Wars
trilogy. Goddamn, those were some wild
times. Anyway, thank God for Gordon.
If I didn't have him to goof off with,
I'd be in a bad state. Like Arkansas.