You're a pig. You like to eat, and you don't like to bathe. But just because you're a bit smelly, doesn't mean you don't know how to have fun! As a pig you have more fun than anyone, because you're a free spirit. Unconcerned with the disdain others show you, you truly are a hero.

You're dumb. You have the mental capacity of a spoon. That's alright though; hopefully you have good looks. Maybe even a pleasant personality? You should rely on your better qualities to get you through life, not your brain.

It causes obesity in women, and drains the bank accounts of men. It is the oldest of all STDs, and possibly the most evil. Wrapping it up will prevent this infection with 99% reliability. A single break, however, could mean disaster!

You will die before you can make large amounts of cash. Perhaps a shady business venture will end in shooting? Maybe you'll die of heartbreak? Either way, you should live it up until then!

Devils are not good people. Devils are bad people! That's cool. Good people aren't much fun. It's the devils that always have a good idea for a party or a late night adventure. More power to you!

You are pure and beautiful. Looking into your eyes is a religious experience. When you spread your wings men fall to their knees, and kiss the ground. Hallelujah!

Your in love. It's adorable; it's almost sickening. You and your lover look at each other like you two are the only people in the world. When you two aren't together, you think of each other, and yearn for the next meeting.

You're not gay. You're flamboyant! You make every movement a dance, and every word a song. You are one for bright colors, strobing lights, and techno music.

You aren't fat. You're sexy! Your lithe figure and devious curves are enough to drive your lovers crazy. You exercise, and you eat right. Have fun!

Accident, arson, there are many causes for fires. One of these causes will lead to your eventual death. You will share the fate of such greats as Joan of Arc, and heretics throughout the ages!