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"Hey, y'all, I'm a MOM!!!!
I wanna be a Hot Mom, y'all. All MILF-y and shit.
Some people say Kevin and I ain't gonna..."
More about Britney
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Messaging Off[Restricted to Britney's friends] |
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Schools (Other):
Huh?
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Occupation:
Entertainer or Something; Mom & Wannabe MILF
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Affiliations:
Kevin Federline, Justin Timberlake, Colin Farrell, Madonna, Fred Durst, that guy I married that one time
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Hobbies and Interests:
Bein' a Mom to Sean Preston, Kaballah, Bein' Married (Sometimes!), Go Fug Yourself, Tanning, Vacationing, Eating Cheetos, Drinking Red Bull, Las Vegas, Hawaii, Goin' Barefoot, SHOPPING!
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Favorite Books:
Wicked, My "Letters of Truth, " Teen People, Cosmo Girl, In Touch, Us Weekly, Swank, anything but those False Tabloids!
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Favorite Movies:
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Pretty Woman, Coyote Ugly, Cinderella, Showgirls, Runaway Bride, Steel Magnolias, Crossroads, Freddy Got Fingered, Dirty Dancing, y'know:anything romantic
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Favorite Music:
Aerosmith "Permanent Vacation, " Jennifer Lopez, LFO, Journey, Vengaboys, Dixie Chicks, NIN's "The Downward Spiral, " Radiohead's cool new album "Pablo Honey" I love that song "Creep" y'all!, or y'know whatever's popular y'all
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Favorite TV Shows:
The Dukes of Hazzard, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, Cops, The Swan, NASCAR racing, Maury, Striperella, Sex and the City, El Gordo Y La Flaca
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About Me:
Hey, y'all, I'm a MOM!!!!
I wanna be a Hot Mom, y'all. All MILF-y and shit.
Some people say Kevin and I ain't gonna last, and I used to think they were just jellus that they didn't have the True Love Forever that I had! Whatever. I was going to try my hardest to prove you haters wrong, but I don't give a shit anymore.
Motherhood changes you and makes you focus on the Real, on the Important Stuff. Why hasn't anyone ever talked about that before, you know?
OK, so Kevin needs to get off his ass and stop having his "weedman" over 'cause we're parents now (like, can't he take that seriously?). I had no idea that the beautiful miracle of little SPF comin' into the world wouldn't change him, like at ALL. How was I supposed to know, right?
I gotta keep threatinin' to take away his ride and his allowance to keep him in line. That demo of his was a piece of shit, I don't think he was even tryin, y'all. I'm a little embarrassed about that commercial for my perfume "Fantasy" right about now, too. But you know, fuck it. I'm a Mom now, and I'm all softened and centered and whatever.
Y'all can friend me up at britneyfederline@hotmail.com
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Who I Want to Meet:
Fellow Hot Moms, car seat distributors; Jennifer Lopez, Liz Taylor & Zsa Zsa Gabor (for relationship advice); potential nannies.
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How you're connected:
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Britney is in your extended network |
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Britney |
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Happy Birthday!
my second wedding! P.S. I forgot to put my name
on the gift. It was that pair of blue old navy flip
flops. wear them, even in public restrooms...
the Daytona 500, (come on grrrl, don't
play like you don't know its Nascar!). I'll
bring the cheetos and Busch Lite if you
bring the Red Bull and Popov Vodka!
Wheeeeeeeewww!
cans of whipped cream so we could try
and get high from huffing the empty
can? Or the time we paid that kid with
glasses to write our book reports
because reading is for losers?! The
best was when I dared you to drink that
whole pitcher of everclear and grape
juice and you puked on yourself and
humped that kid with the motorcycle?
God junior high was fun!
I gotta say, you're dead on! What's say
you, me, Jenna and Barbie Bush (Jr. of
course) go to Nyla one night?