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"I want to do stand-up comedy, or act, or something that's
not really a job. Well, stand-up is a real job, but I..."
More about Marty
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Messaging Off[Restricted to Marty's friends] |
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Occupation:
Local Constabulary/Shark Skin Man
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Affiliations:
Ext-Sub
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Hobbies and Interests:
Comedy, Television, passive forms of entertainment, samurai.
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Favorite Books:
A Confederacy of Dunces, Discworld books, Fahrenheit 451, that damned Harry Potter kid, Good Omens, Half Asleep In Frog Pajamas, The Watchmen
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Favorite Movies:
Wet Hot American Summer, The Iron Giant, The Big Lebowski, City of Lost Children, Kill Bill, Wild Zero, Satoshi Kon, Clay Pigeons, Ghost World, Wes Anderson, 1st Star Wars Trilogy, Takeshi Miike, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Kurosawa's samurai-related fare
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Favorite Music:
Old 97's, They Might be Giants, David Bowie, Prince, Star Star, XTC, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, Andy Partridge, Guitar Wolf, Bjork, OutKast, Black Keys, Op Ivy, Brian Dewan, Cannibal Ox, the theme song to 'Kid Icarus' for the NES
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Favorite TV Shows:
Cowboy Bebop, Simpsons, Cosby, FLCL, Saved By The Bell, Reno 911, Mr. Show, Kids In The Hall, SCTV, Home Movies, Sealab 2021, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, any show I can buy on DVD
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About Me:
I want to do stand-up comedy, or act, or something that's
not really a job. Well, stand-up is a real job, but I meant
something where I don't have to lift anything.
I just recently discovered that when you quit a job, you get paid for all the vacation time that you didn't use. It seems like a get-rich-quick scam, but it only really works if you put in about a year's worth of time. Get-rich-quick my ass.
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Who I Want to Meet:
Phylicia Rashad, and other people with straight teeth.
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Marty |
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prefers "Satan's little comedy handbag".
About anything. You can tell because
he's half naked in in his picture. I
can't think of anything (with the
exception of a Karen Carpenter
documentary or a Hendrix death
reenactment) that would encourage one
to vomit more than that picture. I
remember when he had a full beard and
he looked like he was 50 and I
convinced people that he was my father
as I gave LMU campus tours. This
statement was always followed by the
inevitable "that explains a lot."
Martin Quinn is a bastard and a male
harlot and I miss the bejesus out of
him. If only syphillis didn't destroy
that precious mind...
over a bathroom tub, I think of Marty. Also,
whenever I kidnap people, whenever I watch
"Drawing Flies", whenever I play the triangle, and
always, always when I contemplate what it would be
like to play an all-out game of Monkeyball. The
REAL Monkeyball that Marty and I never created
because we just couldn't be bothered. Also, I think
of Marty when I hear the name "Marty."
to dogs. To find him, look in the dictionary;
under the word "the."
of water dispensed from a grocery
machine by sticking his head under the
spigot. He almost drowned, but traded
survival for stitches in his head. One
would think this would teach Marty the
dangers of gluttony. Thank Gah
fat=sad=funny. You my Comedy
Millionaire, baby boy.
last night and all I could hear for the
duration of my urination was "oh, my,
god, Marty is so funny", "I wish I was
friends with Marty", "I am friends with
Marty" "Nuh uh, I'm friends with Marty
and he would never be friends with
you." "Did you see Marty do that cute
little dance?", "Marty, Marty,
Marty", "I love Marty!"
that tatoo parlor, I know we were all
scared. I know I was at least. But we
had made a decision, all of us, and
we were ready to stand by that
decsion. What better way to celebrate
that TOTALLY awesome road trip to
Albequrque than to take a moment
from that trip, one of those times
when the tree of us really were "The
Three Musketers of Friendship" as
Jeromy kept calling us. Which is why
I wanted to get three fencing swords
with the bluebird of friendship on
them on our arms. But then you and
Jeromy persuaded me on that
design that we had gotten from the
funny dark man on the cover of the
CD we had bought as a joke at the
truckstop. (I do have to say, it was fun
laughing and talking about that boy
and his imaginary troubles all the
way across Nevada.) But we all
knuckled up and got it.
Now when Jeromy got his removed, I
don't think either of us was
surprised. He just couldn't model
with that big a tattoo on his throat.
Plus I think both you and I can agree
that Jeromy's kind of a fucking bitch.
But you and I, Marty, you and I knew
this was about friendship. Knew that
we were branded for life, you with I
and I with you. Knew we were
brothers.
But regarding your past behaviours,
as of this last week, I am begining to
doubt your true feelings. Missing two
of my recitals and a play date?Are
you REALLY a friend? Or have you
removed your friendship with a lazer,
like some sort of fucking bitch.
This is why, the next time I see you,
there will no hellos, no salutations.
Rather I will lift up my shirt, expose
my inked stomach, and ask you to do
the same. And may God help you
Marty Quinn, if there is no Gothic
lettering spelling out "Thug Life" to
match mine .
you're gross. What is that, a pizza?
Are you some kind of stupid kid or
something? That smile is fake. You
must be drunk. You make me sick. Put
up another picture you freak! That
shirt sucks! You still wear it! Are
you like nine or something? If you say
yes then I get to play "Ruin-the-nine-
year-old" What? You said yes. That's
it for you Marty. Lets play the game.
Now! Your hands are fat. When you
grip me it feels like fucking a ham
sandwich. I'm giving you all the
mayonaise I can. You need to move to
some other friendster becuase your page
is so old!
from laughing not once but three times in the
same day and this was when we were young
and innocent and didn't do any drugs. I once
saw marty and our friend greg get into a fist
fight at the local toys'r'us which ended in greg
telling greg to eat a dick and greg storming
off. i didn't mind greg storming off cause he
can be a real dick. long live the extraneous
subculture