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      • The Management
      • Posted
      • Patrick greatest gift to mankind comes
        in the form of his bedazzling
        clairvoyant powers. He is able to read
        people's minds and to predict the
        future with unsurpassed accuracy,
        making him one of the National
        Enquirers most highly coveted psychics.
        He predicted the rise and fall of the
        Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Dynasty with
        startling accuracy. He pinpointed the
        exact date of the Brittany and Justin
        breakup and was referring to Ms. Spears
        as "that two-bit whore" months before
        she went public with her earth-
        shattering acknowledgment of premarital
        coitus. In 2004, Patrick predicts that
        a line backer in a major league sports
        team will beat his wife. He predicts
        that Ron Pallilo, the highly
        acclaimed 'Horseshack' of Welcome Back
        Kotter fame will have his own
        syndicated talk show. Finally, he
        maintains that Bill O'Reilly will have
        a torrid and highly publicized affair
        with a transvestite dominatrix known
        only as "Cockzilla" whom he lures to
        extreme right wing fanaticism in the
        name of love.

        You can't fuck with this guy! He'll
        clairvoyant the shit out of you!
      • nunnayer
      • Posted
      • Any words that I could say in this
        space besides "Why haven't you added
        Patrick as a friend yet, douchebag?"
        would be utterly superfluous; as I am
        currently leading a group of lobbyists
        to have the word 'awesome' become
        legally synonymous with his name. That
        way I can call him by the new nickname
        I just made up, "Mr. Trick."
      • Craig
      • Posted
      • Dave had it right. I don't care how
        good you think you are...Patrick is the
        KING of the internet. KING. Just give
        up. You can't win.
      • Janet
      • Posted
      • It's so cool to have Cary Elwes...er...I
        mean "Patrick" as my friend! He's
        SOOO down to earth, not like the
        other movie stars who turned me
        down (I'm looking right at you,
        Cruise). Good to see that the
        success of "Robin Hood: Men in
        TIghts" hasn't gone to his head.
        What a swell guy, that "Patrick."
      • Dave
      • Posted
      • Patrick happens to be the king of the
        internet. No shit.
      • Heidi
      • Posted
      • I could gush about all the ways that
        Patrick is amazing but really Anjy said
        it best ... total package! He's a
        beautiful person, inside and out, and I
        am better for knowing him.
      • Jon
      • Posted
      • Secret discoverer of the Fountain of
        Youth, Patrick has yet to succumb to
        the surliness and cold-hearted close-
        mindedness of the really incredibly old
        (he's like 403 and 7 months). Sadly,
        this prevents him from collecting
        Social Security.
      • Anjy
      • Posted
      • Patrick is an utter sweetie! Total
        package: Brains, adorable, endearing.
        Why do I feel like a tool signing a
        yearbook?! Heh. But it's true!

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