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Vyvyan. Vyvyan. I swear every time something blows up in this house it's always bloody Vyvyan
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"I am a back ground hand clapper. If you're a band recording some hot tracks, and you need some hand clapping in the..."
More about HellaGnarCal
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More About HellaGnarCal
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Occupation:
Background Hand Clapper / Professional Pet Petter
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Affiliations:
The "Being Totally Awesome" club
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Hobbies and Interests:
My paintings of Elian Gonzalez and Ernie Banks, Biking, Any Kind Of Bikes, Mountain Biking, Road Biking, Fixed Gear, Bouldering, Climbing, Film, Writing, Yelling At Old People, Throwing stuff, Printmaking
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Favorite Books:
In Cold Blood, Into Thin Air, How To Make Yourself Taller, For Whom The Bell Tolls
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Favorite Movies:
The Conversation, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Evil Dead, Lebowski, Dog Day Afternoon, Bonnie And Clyde, The Lost Boys, Karate Kid, Point Break, Anything Zombie Related, Grosse Point Blank, Better Off Dead, The Anthony Michael Hall Trilogy, The Royal Tenenbaums, Bottle Rocket
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Favorite Music:
Joy Division, Tom Jones, Slayer, The Smiths, Travis, Tool, Snapcase, The Specials, Echo And The Bunnymen, Youth Of Today, Redemption 87, Vision Of Disorder, William Shatner, Wesley Willis, Burning Brides, Neil Diamond, Any songs I've clapped on, The Misfits, My Morning Jacket, Van Morrison, Journey, Steve Perry by himself, Arcade Fire, The Pretenders
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Favorite TV Shows:
Golden Girls (Except Bea Arthur, who creeps me out), Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Nightline, Sabado Gigante, Seinfeld, Silver Spoons, Small Wonder, 60 Minutes (Except Andy Rooney), Anything plastic surgery related, Anything plastic surgery disaster related, Oakland A's games
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Zodiac Sign:
Leo
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About Me:
I am a back ground hand clapper. If you're a band recording some hot tracks, and you need some hand clapping in the background, I'm the guy to call. Song's like "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp, and "I love Rock and Roll" by Joan Jett all feature hand clapping. I've worked with Ricky Martin, Pat Benatar, and Cannibal Corpse.
I would also like to use this space to address a very important issue regarding socks and sandals.
Sandals=OK, Socks=OK. Socks and sandals, on the same foot? No.
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Who I Want to Meet:
-New Friends
-Women with at least one breast
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Testimonials and Comments for HellaGnarCal
myself to giving you the $600. you didn't
fulfill my expectations. next time i'll
require a bigger and better luge.
perfect burrito!
The little critters of nature...They don't
know that they're ugly! That's very funny.
children is not well known. He doesn't
often talk about it, and despite his
humble efforts to keep it a secret there
is evidence of his work everywhere.
Inside his large van with the tinted
windows, are lots of toys and an
industrial-sized bag of lollipops, and in
his dashboard, amongst the various
lotions and vasaline, he always has a
six paxk of Zima, which he
claims "tastes just like candy!" He also
tries to remain up-to-date with the latest
in children's programming, which is
evident when he throws open his van
door and exclaims "who wants to the
see the spongebob in my
squarepants?" And on a side note,
Champagne's hygiene is top notch. The
van is deep cleaned every day with
bleach, he claims to avoid DNA
evidence, but I really kow it's just
because he wants to provide a safe
environment for the kids.
devilish ploy to get to
Champagne...Some of my biggest turn-
ons include men with drink labels as
names (i.e. O.J - Yum), he-mullets,
shapely eyebrows, balloon animals, and
well manicured hands and
feet...Champagne fits that description
hands down...He puts Liberace to
shame...The minute I got a wiff of that
ultra chic scent, I knew I was
hooked...No wonder his deadly cologne
is made from the tongue of a Black
Footed Ferret - Needless to say the
pheromones kicked in
immediately...There will never be
another Champagne...No one could
ever take his place...Elvis would be
jealous...
me tell ya its more like a highway to
hell! But in all seriousness this man is
the most accomplished handclapper
there is....the clapper lamp was
invented in ode to his talent. Sorry
Champagne my heart belongs to The
Captain.
Champagne, that redness is not
contagious, and his blood test came
back negative. He is a brilliant melding
of hair prodcuts, cologne, and shiney-
ness all wrapped in a shorn scortum.
When you ladies are searching for a
good time, I recommend you book a
ticket on the "champagne train".