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Purple monkey dishwasher
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"My life is a never-ending struggle against my addiction to sleepahol."
More about Karl
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Schools (Other):
University of Chicago Class of 2003, Pius XI High School Class of 1999
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Occupation:
Small Mammal Tamer, Computer Law Guy
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Hobbies and Interests:
Philosophy, Law, Funny Noises, The Simpsons, Scavenger Hunts (but under no circumstances Havenger Scunts)
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Favorite Books:
Beyond Good and Evil, The Future of Ideas, Code and Other Laws of Cyberspace, The Discworld Series, Atlas Shrugged, Crying of Lot 49, Jennifer Government, Currently Reading: A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, Company
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Favorite Movies:
The Big Lebowski, The Empire Strikes Back, Swingers, The Killer, The Hunt, Billy Madison, So I Married An Axe Murderer, In the Mood for Love, Comedians of Comedy
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Favorite Music:
Kyoto Jazz Massive, Tiesto, Andy Hunter, BT, Paul Oakenfold, Armin van Buuren, They Might Be Giants
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Favorite TV Shows:
The Prisoner, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, ATHF, Hustle, Carnivale, Robot Chicken, Tom Goes to the Mayor, MI-5 (Spooks), Rome, The Shield, No Reservations, Penn & Tellar's Bullshit!, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Lost, House
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Zodiac Sign:
Cancer
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About Me:
My life is a never-ending struggle against my addiction to sleepahol.
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Who I Want to Meet:
I'm here because Shannon threatened to bite me in my sleep,
but I can be friends with other people too.
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How you're connected:
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Karl is in your extended network |
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Karl |
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to a grasshopper. Ok, that's a lie;
Karl has never been knee-high to a
grasshopper. The real reason we
became friends is because I mistook
him for Bobby from King of the Hill,
and followed him around waiting for
his autograph.
looking stoic. When Karl finally
smiles, the heavens will break open
wide and that fat bearded guy floating
atop the clouds will smile back and
shower everyone on Earth with rays of
sunshine and two scoops of delicious
raisins. Also, Karl is a substitute par
excellence. Tom Berenger and Treat
Williams ain't got nothin' on Karl,
because he's the only guy you want
subbing for you when you're sick at
work. Karl has subbed for coworkers for
a record 486 working days in a row, and
he would have subbed for you, too, if
it weren't for those meddling kids and
their damn dog.
like, just ask Karl! He's filmed it
soooooo many times.
you. There are times when the things
that come to my mind make me think I'm
insane. Then I realize that the exact
same things periodically enter Karl's
mind. Then I feel better. Then I realize
that Karl and I are being held by a mad
scientition who is controlling our
thoughts through small controlled shocks
to our brains. Then I try to get out of
it, but for some reason forget what I'm
doing and begin instead to think that I
am Angie Dickenson. Get out of my way!
I'll try to keep it brief. Karl has
great taste in music and he is a
mastermind at sneaking onto the dance
floor when the security guards aren't
looking but he's also good at NOT
helping to smuggle his friends in,
leaving them to do it for themselves
and risk getting caught. But I love
Karl anyway because he is large and
helps me move and he throws great
parties with really yummy food and
he's just an all around cool person.
And it's good to be friends with cool
people like Karl.
rolls up and e-bombs me wit some krazee
shite like "What's up wit my mad
testimonials?" So I spit back like:
Karl ain't no tard/
and some fools may roll hard/
But K rolls sof'/
Until it jumps off/
Then K is ironclad like ironman/
binge eatin' at night wit crazee spam/
best believe spam ain't meat/
Jus like K who can't be beat/
But if you keep forcin peeps to talk/
You gonna get whack testimonials and be
eatin' chalk.
***In other news, for a brief few
months of my life absolutely all of the
shortcomings of the world were Karl's
fault. Now it may sound silly but it
was quite relieveing to know that all
of the world's problems began with
Karl. And he took it like a champ-
like a deep throat champion fellating a
2 foot kielbasa he just took it and
took it. Not many men can do that...
fellate a sausage I mean.
intelligent conversation-maker.
Dedicated, no-holds-barred worker and
scav-hunter. This right here is a good
man.
with Woo, into love it grew. He stole my
heart and my cat.
Karl and I are 89% compatible, which is
pretty amazing. If we avoid watching
Sportscenter at 7 a.m. (5% incompatible)
and speaking in very poor British
accents (6%), things are smooth sailing.
While I am the awesomest, he himself is
one pretty awesome possum. And he is my
hero. He's only on Friendster because I
threatened to bite him in his sleep.