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"So I was walking by the office of the Guiness Book of Records and I
saw these 3 midgets waiting to apply for a World's..."
More about Jonitals
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Messaging Off[Restricted to Jonitals's friends] |
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More About Jonitals
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Schools (Other):
maroon and gold
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College/University:
Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Arts, Attended 1998 - 2003, Class of 2003, Bachelor's Degree, architecture
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Occupation:
Privates Investigator
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Affiliations:
Sunday Shuffle Crew, the VDC, 205 Allen, Arizona
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Hobbies and Interests:
2uperman, kris kristofferson, small students, pouty mouths, curly hair, flip flops, air conditioning, swimming, sandwiches, tools, lasers, UIP's
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Favorite Books:
Snappy Put-Downs and Funny Insults
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Favorite Movies:
blue crush, the crush, the blue lagoon
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Favorite Music:
j.j.cale, townes van zandt, waylon & willie and the boys
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Favorite TV Shows:
City Confidential, Birth-day
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About Me:
So I was walking by the office of the Guiness Book of Records and I
saw these 3 midgets waiting to apply for a World's Record. So I asked
them what record they were competing for. Worlds smallest hands ,said
one. Worlds smallest feet, said the second. World's smallest DICK, said
the last.
I happened to pass by an hour later. The hands guy and the foot guy
were grinning like pirates. They'd obviously won. But the third guy
looked miserable. What happened? I asked him. And he replied, "WHO
THE HELL IS JOHN SHIMKUS????"
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Who I Want to Meet:
The Ghost of Shimkus Past
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Testimonials and Comments for Jonitals
river on the edge of Tempe Two.. It was John,
Justin, Tim and I. We were enjoying the great
music mixed with their delicious long islands.
A little after one a.m. we proceeded to John's
4Runner parked deep in one of their huge
lots. Parallel to us there was a rowdy bunch
of dudes I noticed looking our way. Already
knowing the consequences of some serious
mad dogging I decided to turn away and
continue walking. At that time thats when Tim
came out with a "That's Right Bitch!" or
something of that sort.
Luckily we were close enough to the car to
make a quick escape, not to mention I was
working with a wooden ankle I had injured
fairly recently. John got us out of the parking
lot which proceeded to a high speed freeway
chase. Justin had already come to the
conclusion that we were going to die when
John came up with some witty driving to get
us out of our tight situation... wheww that was
close... Nice driving John, you
Don't stop loving me daddy.
I know I am keeping my baby.
million dolars and i am the boss of him because he
is doing my work. John is sometimes a copier he
beats me in chess and i want to beat him 3 times in
a row in any game.
Woman!
mechaye, this one. oy!
john discovered a brand new trait
A bottle of booze
plus Sunday tunes
equaled skin turning green
and he got extra mean
Lived at two twenty
where the clowns were a plenty
And the couch was a house
for each and every zona mouse
So the hulk and the mayor
Co-founded this lair
called it clownsville
and live there still
it traveled with them to two oh five
and it's still very much alive
a super in gowns
we've now got hill billy clowns
but hulk is mad
and the mayor is sad
that clownsivlle is losing it's founding
member
and the other two are moving out in
December
bad dancer in front of Jon. He doesn't drink
anymore so he'll remember every jackass
thing you say and then call your moves the
"catastrophe dance" to other people. You're
lucky I'm so immune to your insults
JonnyNoFun. I think I'm going to go hang out
with Arnaud now.
him is like, whatever.