Jessica, Girl--we've had so many zany
times together in Cabot Cove... I
don't even know where to f'in begin.
Like the time those four spoiled-brat
blonde daughters claimed that their
multi-millionaire father had suddenly
been 'swept overboard' from his
luxurious, high-class expensive man
yacht during a 'dangerous hurricane'
(YEAH RIGHT!). I totally believed
them, but you set the record AND ME
straight, Thank God. If it weren't for
you, I would probably STILL BE ON THAT
YACHT having sex with all of them
right now! Can you believe that! Or
what about the time we attended that
festive costume party at your
publisher's cottage and 'Sherlock
Holmes' was found bludgeoned and
murdered in the back pantry. (**I
totally thought you WERE Alice, from
Alice in Wonderland by the way!) If
you hadn't been there Grady would have
been arrested for that crime... A
crime he did not commit and the
asinine people of Cabot Cove would
still be judging him to this goddamn
day! Blackmail and political intrigue
await you at every turn, and yet you
remain one of my closest confidantes
and favorite sexual partners. There is
no way I could have made it through
that tedious Carnival Cruise last
December, especially after recovering
from my husband's third suicide, had
it not been for your friendship,
support and occasional rim-jobs. There
you were, hospitalized with a
fractured leg, masquerading as a
wealthy widower in an effort to entrap
the murderer of another close friend
(Lynne DeCarlo) thought to be on the
cruise with usand you HAVE TIME FOR
ME!? That is what I call a good
friendship and please note* it means
the world to me. Jessica, you are a
determined, untainted, wonderful woman
and I'm incredibly honored to call
you friend'. I know that, through
your determination, Lee Meriwether's
niece (who happens to be an aspiring
jockey) will be found innocent and
cleared of all charges in the murder
of that horrible horse owner.
times together in Cabot Cove... I
don't even know where to f'in begin.
Like the time those four spoiled-brat
blonde daughters claimed that their
multi-millionaire father had suddenly
been 'swept overboard' from his
luxurious, high-class expensive man
yacht during a 'dangerous hurricane'
(YEAH RIGHT!). I totally believed
them, but you set the record AND ME
straight, Thank God. If it weren't for
you, I would probably STILL BE ON THAT
YACHT having sex with all of them
right now! Can you believe that! Or
what about the time we attended that
festive costume party at your
publisher's cottage and 'Sherlock
Holmes' was found bludgeoned and
murdered in the back pantry. (**I
totally thought you WERE Alice, from
Alice in Wonderland by the way!) If
you hadn't been there Grady would have
been arrested for that crime... A
crime he did not commit and the
asinine people of Cabot Cove would
still be judging him to this goddamn
day! Blackmail and political intrigue
await you at every turn, and yet you
remain one of my closest confidantes
and favorite sexual partners. There is
no way I could have made it through
that tedious Carnival Cruise last
December, especially after recovering
from my husband's third suicide, had
it not been for your friendship,
support and occasional rim-jobs. There
you were, hospitalized with a
fractured leg, masquerading as a
wealthy widower in an effort to entrap
the murderer of another close friend
(Lynne DeCarlo) thought to be on the
cruise with usand you HAVE TIME FOR
ME!? That is what I call a good
friendship and please note* it means
the world to me. Jessica, you are a
determined, untainted, wonderful woman
and I'm incredibly honored to call
you friend'. I know that, through
your determination, Lee Meriwether's
niece (who happens to be an aspiring
jockey) will be found innocent and
cleared of all charges in the murder
of that horrible horse owner.