More About John
-
Schools (Other):
yes
-
College/University:
Grinnell College, Attended 1998 - 2002, Class of 2002, Bachelor's Degree, theatre/studio art
-
Occupation:
junior varsity well-rounded individual
-
Affiliations:
midwest
-
Hobbies and Interests:
consumption, creation, scrabble, tracking NTA
-
Favorite Music:
sparrows, MSP hum, a sleeping lady, turning pages, paint, Old Mud, Mexi-pop
-
About Me:
a guy taking his time
-
Who I Want to Meet:
someone to write me beautiful lyrics
|
 |
How you're connected:
| You |
 |
John is in your extended network |
|
John |
|
Testimonials and Comments for John
it was gonna be a totally normal movie, except
totally out of the blue, it was gonna cut to john
fucking this cat in an alley. john was totally down
and everything. and jesus, this movie was gonna
rock. it was gonna win titular head and stuff, but all
of a sudden the kid who owned the camera we
were gonna use was all like, "no, bitches. we are
so not doing a movie with my camera that has
some dude fucking a cat in it. we're doing some
lame shit about zombies instead." and yeah, that
damn kid wouldn't let us do the movie, and we
were all way to lazy to go find another camera.
fuck that kid. fuck that kid for ruining my summer.
NO, ITS HAPPENED!!! Tron has become a
model. Not a model citizen, or model
friend or lover or person or mechanic
or airplane or rocket or train, just a
model. I seent 'em! He has lame
beardage, burned his shirts, plays
under pink blankets, and NEVER buttons
his pants. Pretty soon, he'll be on a
weekly rotation of color coded foods, a
diet suggested by, get this, his
dietician!! What the fuck is that?
Listen, he is probably in the early
stages and will only request that his
name be spelled Ghon, but if someone
doesn't say something soon, we may
never see our beloved catrone again.
SOMEONE SAVE MY BABY!!
not a Minnesotan, e.g. I'm too frugal
with my ketchup distribution, John
(sometimes indirectly) honors the
things that matter to him.
is make him famous. Which is why
someone needs to stop my neferious
plan to shoot a sitcom called "I Want
That Pizza!" in which John plays a
good-natured Italian
bartender/pizzamaker whose pizzas the
neighborhood punks, Zooey and Rinka-
Dink, continually plot to steal. Stop
me...someone, because somehow...
somehow, John will make it work and
inadvertently propel himself to fame.
Damn you, Carton. I mean, Catron.
reveals the illusion beyond. Just hope
you can learn to do the same. And
John, your check's in the mail.
rule: write no testimonials. For one thing,
"testimonials" could easily be the name of a painful
male disease requiring surgery. For another, once
you grant one friend a testimonial, then EVERYONE
expects one. I just wasn't ready to go down that
path. But today, for John Catron, I am breaking my
sacred rule. Unleash the tidewaters of endless
backslapping! I want the world to know that John
Catron is worth breaking the rules for. I want the
world to know that this quiet creative force inspires
even the grumblingest and stubbornest of us to
sing his praises to complete strangers. I want the
world to know that John has five testimonials on his
genitals, one of which is a repelling shade of
purple. So steer clear, kids, steer clear.
Vamos para la luna caribe
Besando chicando con surfer catrone
Se fue su madera (ohmygollyohmygolly)
catrone OOOOOOO catrone catrone
(woofwoof)
Yo soy playero pero no hay playa
Bien perdida la surfer catrone
La vida total es un porqueria porqueria
Esto no es mas, que vida
(ohmygollyohmygolly)
Yesterday, I burned my finger on the
vent pipe from my water heater. When
John is around ~ he protects you from
the stupidity. My scars increase
proportionately with my distance from
the jack.
chipping away at the world with every
word he speaks and every note he
plays. He's as likely to disappear into
his room for hours on end, only to
emerge with an opus that might save
all of mankind, or a detailed plot of
the utter destruction of all. He either
reaps or sows, sometimes both with
a single nod "good morning." I was
always intimidated when he asked
"You wanna play poker?" I never did. I
just knew I would lose.
add art to the world every day and not
be afraid of it. I think I would like
to be a lot more like John.