Allen

Done! Kudos to Barnaby.

"Burn."

"Goof."

Testimonials and Comments for Allen

J T
Posted
Well...I did post a testy-moan-eeeee-all several weeks ago but it was deleted. Apparently Allen likes to keep me on my toes. And not on my toes in an objective sense because I've been tied up to a spinning wheel while he prepares to throw shiny knives at me while dressed in a floral loin cloth; but on my toes in a deep spiritually connected way. Write something new! says Herr Dr. Allen. Its implied, of course, just like my spiritually connected toes. Allen has toes too. Did you know that? I knew you did.

oh. yeah. ALLEN IS A GREAT FRIEND. Funny. Athletic. Inquisitive. Subversively funny. (That's different from funny.) Catch him soon in a scientific publication. Not like "Squash! Ha! I've caught you now!"-bug kind of thing, but like something you read and then say, "Holy Shit! I know a scientist."

J T
Posted
Allen is the best friend a...a...friend could...have. (I'm sorry, I'm buzzing on Rasputin beer, its late and I'm a little loopy.) Allen is amazing for his ability to discover humor in the darkest of moments. He also really likes Einstein. But that's not so funny. Allen is, though. He is a poetic scientist that can connect with you on a molecular level. He can also, being a wickedly creative scientist, do things to you on that molecular level. That's funny, too. Or it can be if I'm inebriated enough. Allen can also out-drink me or anyone for that matter. In a coffee-dietcoke-water ingestion contest, he'd win. And he'd still look like a movie star just out of the shower. Not that I've seen him out of the shower. Not that there would be anything wrong with that, either. Not that I'd want to see that. But he could do it, I know. Because he's Allen. He's the best introspective-wickedmidwesthumor-molecule slingin'-straighttalkin-swingdancin best friend a guy or girl could have.

Posted
ah yes, well your testimonials are also antiquated, so take this! allen is, of course, the sexiest scientist in the state of california. some don't know, however, that he has actual superpowers. biochemists have access to all sorts of volatile chemicals and extraterrestrial DNA (well, the equivalent of DNA, but to aliens). you shouldn't let it slip in certain circles, but allen can turn himself into any vegetable of his choice by just whispering a few words under his breath. as you can imagine, this has countless applications in his everyday life.