I am lucky to know Maria. She's one of the best
people ever. And she's darned funny too. And
she looks pretty good with magenta hair,
though I do prefer the blond.
I thought I owned Maria's heart ...
until she discovered love of the canine
variety. Do we call each other up
anymore? What became of our Sunday
brunches of strawberries and
champagne? Ask the four-legged carpet-
wetter.
I think Maria is brilliant and
hilarious and confusing and just the
best thing that not nearly enough
people know about. But they will, mark
me, they will....
Posted
Maria and I set out this summer on a
Bonnie & Clyde-style spree of intense
sexual trysting and small-town bank
scores but I had to bail after about an
hour of listening to one of her lame
mixed tapes in the car (seriously,
Bananarama?).
Maria Bamford...sweet, nice...nice,
sweet...a nice sweetie...a sweet
nicey...blah, blah, blah. Only I know
the real core under that gentle, demure
Midwestern facade, and I'll be laughing
someday when she hacks a room full of
industry executives to death with a
machete.
Maria is so funny she made me want to
be funny too. But now she's even
funnier. You just try to keep up with
that Maria, she'll show you what's
what, I'm telling you.
Maria is awesome. She's wicked funny as they
say in New England. I don't know I've never
been there. She's been funny to me from the
moment i saw her perform on a milk crate
stage in the back of a greasy burger joint on
Hollywood Blvd., while a little man drew
sketches of her on a pad with a marker. i
wonder what happened to him. Anyway,
MARIA ROCKS!
Posted
Maria often sleeps in her clothes, so
she won't have to waste time dressing
in the morning.
True story.
If the geniuses that run Hollywood
were lazy, they would give Maria a
sitcom--it would be fantastically
hilarious mega-hit, and everyone
would make gobs of money. Luckily,
the geniuses that run Hollywood are
Jewish men with Protestant work
ethics. They know it would be
unethical to put the funniest woman
on the planet in a show that is
supposed to be FUNNY--Where's
the challenge in that? The geniuses
that run Hollywood wouldn't be able
to sleep at night if they didn't think
they EARNED their money. That's
why Maria is just a plain old
garden-variety celebrity instead of a
super-duper star, and that's why she
still has the time of day for the rest of
us. Thank you, geniuses.
Of course Maria doesn't really talk
that way. She just does it to fuck
with YOU because YOU are so FUCKING
important she needs to hurt her voice
for your amusement. Geez, the girl is
funny on paper... hey, that's it, maybe
it's THE HANDWRITING. Hey, Maria, is
that your REAL HANDWRITING?? Why, it
looks like CHILD'S HANDWRITING! I'm
sorry to be sorry ornery, Maria, but I
just feel protective.
Maria is an amazing friend, comic, writer,
performer and dog owner. Maria brings her
innate fabulousness to anything she does
and spending time with Maria is always a
joy and a lesson in fabulousness. If it wasn't
for Maria, I would never have discovered my
own inner fabulous lady.
Testimonials and Comments for Maria
people ever. And she's darned funny too. And
she looks pretty good with magenta hair,
though I do prefer the blond.
until she discovered love of the canine
variety. Do we call each other up
anymore? What became of our Sunday
brunches of strawberries and
champagne? Ask the four-legged carpet-
wetter.
I think Maria is brilliant and
hilarious and confusing and just the
best thing that not nearly enough
people know about. But they will, mark
me, they will....
Bonnie & Clyde-style spree of intense
sexual trysting and small-town bank
scores but I had to bail after about an
hour of listening to one of her lame
mixed tapes in the car (seriously,
Bananarama?).
sweet...a nice sweetie...a sweet
nicey...blah, blah, blah. Only I know
the real core under that gentle, demure
Midwestern facade, and I'll be laughing
someday when she hacks a room full of
industry executives to death with a
machete.
be funny too. But now she's even
funnier. You just try to keep up with
that Maria, she'll show you what's
what, I'm telling you.
say in New England. I don't know I've never
been there. She's been funny to me from the
moment i saw her perform on a milk crate
stage in the back of a greasy burger joint on
Hollywood Blvd., while a little man drew
sketches of her on a pad with a marker. i
wonder what happened to him. Anyway,
MARIA ROCKS!
she won't have to waste time dressing
in the morning.
True story.
were lazy, they would give Maria a
sitcom--it would be fantastically
hilarious mega-hit, and everyone
would make gobs of money. Luckily,
the geniuses that run Hollywood are
Jewish men with Protestant work
ethics. They know it would be
unethical to put the funniest woman
on the planet in a show that is
supposed to be FUNNY--Where's
the challenge in that? The geniuses
that run Hollywood wouldn't be able
to sleep at night if they didn't think
they EARNED their money. That's
why Maria is just a plain old
garden-variety celebrity instead of a
super-duper star, and that's why she
still has the time of day for the rest of
us. Thank you, geniuses.
that way. She just does it to fuck
with YOU because YOU are so FUCKING
important she needs to hurt her voice
for your amusement. Geez, the girl is
funny on paper... hey, that's it, maybe
it's THE HANDWRITING. Hey, Maria, is
that your REAL HANDWRITING?? Why, it
looks like CHILD'S HANDWRITING! I'm
sorry to be sorry ornery, Maria, but I
just feel protective.
performer and dog owner. Maria brings her
innate fabulousness to anything she does
and spending time with Maria is always a
joy and a lesson in fabulousness. If it wasn't
for Maria, I would never have discovered my
own inner fabulous lady.