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"a) I've eaten dog (it wasn't good). b) when doing karaoke,
i rarely sing anything less than 30 years old. c) i have
yet..."
More about Bryan
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Occupation:
Internet Something or Other (Senior)
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Hobbies and Interests:
Rearranging my room, planning my next trip to the third world, counting the days since i recovered from my last one.
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Favorite Books:
Short ones (preferably with pictures)
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Favorite Movies:
Beyond The Valley of the Dolls, Carnival of Souls, Night of the Living Dead (orig), The Warriors, Trouble in Paradise (1932), Once Upon a Time in the West, Taking of Pelham One Two Three, His Girl Friday, Superman, After Hours
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Favorite Music:
I'm now listening to: HBMS, a Depeche Mode megamix composed of Gameboy samples, Spoon, Modest Mouse, some pop I picked up in Thailand, Slim Whitman, the new Willie Nelson, but I'm really just a song and dance man. Jazz hands!
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Favorite TV Shows:
This one time I watched Wayne Brady and Fran Drescher sing "Stop (In The Name of Love)" and before the song was over I had nearly hung myself with my own shoelaces
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Zodiac Sign:
Gemini
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About Me:
a) I've eaten dog (it wasn't good). b) when doing karaoke,
i rarely sing anything less than 30 years old. c) i have
yet to convert my standing as a half-American-Indian into
any of that bigtime casino scratch, but I'm looking into
it. d) even though i don't know who my real parents are, I
don't go whining about it like that Steve Sanders (what a
puss!).
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Who I Want to Meet:
Anyone. Seriously. I'm going to try and be a huge
Friendster slut. What's the worst that could happen?
[Cue ominous music!]
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charge of the beer bong. i was in charge of
the other bong. things just kind of went from
there.
it was bryan that got me from small-print to
large-print paisley. i just didn't have the
balls on my own. he's always had that kind
of way-out style and hit-em-where-it-hurts
color sensibility.
in the summer of '72 we fell out of touch
because he gave lsd to my 6-year-old
nephew. not cool. but then i tried it, and i
understood. we ended up taking the kid for
a month-long safari through western
nebraska. he hasn't spoken since, but i
know he's a deeper person for the
experience.
by '80, bryan had ditched the whole
pleasure-principle lifestyle and was
exploring esp. it's on a cosmic level. ask
him about life on jupiter or mars - he knows!
(those scientists are fools!)
but he decided to go back to a grassroots
level, calling on those age-old skills that he
learned nearly half-a-century ago. He
knows the nearest location of every
beerbong in the five boroughs. he gets
volume discounts at any Party Town store.
he is a guest college orientation counselor
at several ivy leagues. he's shaping the
consciousness of the nation!
he got me my current job (for which I
owe him big time). He is my only
connection to the world of Williamsburg
bohemian types, if such a world
actually exists. I'm confident he is a
rock star playwright waiting to happen
although I've never read his stuff
(send me something bry-guy). He took
stills for a movie I shot and they
looked better than the movie...
by the quality of the company he
keeps. Seriously, have you seen his
girlfriend? She's hot!
jesse bradford and jesse bradford is
cute and yummy. which i guess means
bryan is cute and yummy. but i have
also been known to lie.
weather-beaten bucket with his
Tupperware spoon. I once saw him
laugh in the face of Tyra Banks. His
favorite melon is honeydew. His
breakbeats are crowd stoppers. His
soul is funky. Bryan was once
consumptive, so he's like
Dostoyevsky or some other Russian.
I would take a bullet for this brown
Texan, though only one of those
beanbags they shoot at
anti-globalization hippies. Fight!
friendster."
friendster is a cult.
i am the harvey keitel to your kate
winslet. just don't make me wear a
dress.
whole planetary systems with nothing
more than his steely gaze. Not to
mention he lives near a White Castle. A
man with this much power (and mini
burgers) is certainly worth knowing
we left off when I return to the US,
assuming his restraining order
expires. Often imitated, but never
duplicated ... actually, it's more
mocked than imitated ... Bri-Bri has a
unique and all-encompassing grasp of
Pop Culture and referential humor. If
there was a corporate structure where
this skillset was a really, really
financially viable asset, he would be
a Forbes Magazine pin-up boy. In the
meantime, he'll have to settle for a
provocative pictorial in Seventeen
magazine's "The Boys of Texas" double
issue, and we get the Bryan Experience
gratis.
fabulosity that I admire, it's his
ability to crunkify even the most
playditious situations. If you need an
injection of funkification, call the
doctor and ask for 10CCs of Bryan.
STAT.
would be thinking "I'm a squirl, I
dream about peanut." Funny how he can't
spell in his thoughts.