Listen, Ellen's strom window needs to be put
in, all of our heat is just going right back
outside. Also, my bedroom door is still
broken. We will be with-holding rent if you do
not fix these problems by the 1st of the month.
Additionally, I feel that Wintersession is too
soon to be showing the apartment, for what
it's worth.
Posted
you were a vietnam vet with one leg who used to
make me wooden toys, and whose "beware of
dog" signs decorated my very first
residence-for-rent. once you were a absentee
sort who always sent a deaf old guy with a single,
long feather earring to "fix" the plumbing. you
were a so-called doctor with "water issues" and a
not-so-secret a leatherman past with homemade
spanking videos jumbled in boxes in the
basement. you were a couple of war-injured,
paranoid russians who watched too many
subtitled colombo episodes and thought that
american cake is too sweet. as my senile
maternal grandmother (herself russian) used to
muse, "never say goodbye, only say so long . . ."
The landlord is very flexible about how
I pay the rent. Sometimes, he is willing
to accept what he refers to as
"alternative currency." He has not
evicted me yet, but he has brought great
shame upon me and my family and he will
burn in Hell for all eternity after he
eats the poison danish I left for him.
After all, God's work is not going to do
itself, for cryin' out loud! Oh shit, he
knows I'm home! I can hear him banging
on the pipes right now...
Testimonials and Comments for The Landlord
come over. Aren't you supposed to give notice
or something? I was in the shower!
weeks... you said you'd have it fixed
by friday last... wtf?
all i want is some baked macaroni and
cheese... you're denying me my
happiness.
in, all of our heat is just going right back
outside. Also, my bedroom door is still
broken. We will be with-holding rent if you do
not fix these problems by the 1st of the month.
Additionally, I feel that Wintersession is too
soon to be showing the apartment, for what
it's worth.
make me wooden toys, and whose "beware of
dog" signs decorated my very first
residence-for-rent. once you were a absentee
sort who always sent a deaf old guy with a single,
long feather earring to "fix" the plumbing. you
were a so-called doctor with "water issues" and a
not-so-secret a leatherman past with homemade
spanking videos jumbled in boxes in the
basement. you were a couple of war-injured,
paranoid russians who watched too many
subtitled colombo episodes and thought that
american cake is too sweet. as my senile
maternal grandmother (herself russian) used to
muse, "never say goodbye, only say so long . . ."
I pay the rent. Sometimes, he is willing
to accept what he refers to as
"alternative currency." He has not
evicted me yet, but he has brought great
shame upon me and my family and he will
burn in Hell for all eternity after he
eats the poison danish I left for him.
After all, God's work is not going to do
itself, for cryin' out loud! Oh shit, he
knows I'm home! I can hear him banging
on the pipes right now...