Look. Ari doesn't want you. Just get
over it. OK!? In fact, she's way to
busy to even think about wanting you.
Dude, you're startin to piss me off.
There's only one guy she wants, and
most definitely NOT YOU! get steppin,
aight? ...you're still here? Dude,
what don't you get? Oh I see, you
want to know who it is? Well, can you
guess? Yup, you got it. ...Justin
Guarini. ...and he's not happy with you!
Ari's a doll, but she's also kind of
intimidating cause shes cute and funny
but not scared of you even if you've
got lots of tattoos or even if you
threaten her directly. I can only make
peace with this by knowing that, at the
end of the day, Ive got a gun and she
doesn't.
Posted
Any woman who offers me a taste of
her "swamp-ass" is a friend of mine.
That, and she made me a small fortune
at the Blue Moon Burlesquerie when I
was rockin' my '64 Coupe DeVille and
gold rings, yo. And upon frequent
Thursday evenings, she and I
concomitantly took advantage of the
underage masses with our gin-slingingly
seductive ways.
If the devil wore a black dress, and
drove a black Mercedes on wheels of
fierce loyalty and undying devotion for
her friends, with tinted windows and a
perpetual shade of nicotine smoke,
well, that would be Ari.
I guess we'd all be in hell. But,
shit, wouldn't you rather have her at
the helm of Hades? Me too.
Posted
Ari tried to make out with my
constantly during college. She
wouldn't even speak with me --
verbally -- but, each morning when I
left my dorm, I would find her just
outside, scantily clad, lashed to a
Hutt, giving me that Organa-esque look
that says, "Take me. Take me before
the guards come." I would have none
of it, of course, but I'm still
haunted by that look.
I made fun of Ari a lot in college. But she was
good natured about it. It only took her four
years to start giving me shit about it. It's
good that she doesn't have a long memory for
that kind of thing. The jibes were good
natured, though. I called her "Tank Top Girl."
Because, you know, she wore tank tops. Not
as funny as a$$-ice, but you know how it is.
Posted
Ari is a mad sly chick...and I once stuffed a
snowball down the back of her pants. The
coolness factor is high but, yeah, mostly the
butt-snowball...that's what stands out. That's
what the kids in Belgium are talking about:
a$$-ice.
Posted
Biggie and Tupac get killed, then Ari
moves from LA to NY and the
East/West beef ends....coincidence?
I think not...
I went through three point five years
of college thinking that Ms. Ari was
probably a bitch because she was
pretty and she acted. Which is
usually a surefire stereotype, but I
was quickly proven wrong. She's a
cool girl and a great bartender even
though I've never ordered anything
more complicated than a Guinness. I
miss her a lot because, as Tront
says, "she's got more shit than a
bitch."
Testimonials and Comments for Ari
and a dash of onetuffbitch. She's the special of
the house, no matter what house she's in.
over it. OK!? In fact, she's way to
busy to even think about wanting you.
Dude, you're startin to piss me off.
There's only one guy she wants, and
most definitely NOT YOU! get steppin,
aight? ...you're still here? Dude,
what don't you get? Oh I see, you
want to know who it is? Well, can you
guess? Yup, you got it. ...Justin
Guarini. ...and he's not happy with you!
another Gideon?!
intimidating cause shes cute and funny
but not scared of you even if you've
got lots of tattoos or even if you
threaten her directly. I can only make
peace with this by knowing that, at the
end of the day, Ive got a gun and she
doesn't.
her "swamp-ass" is a friend of mine.
That, and she made me a small fortune
at the Blue Moon Burlesquerie when I
was rockin' my '64 Coupe DeVille and
gold rings, yo. And upon frequent
Thursday evenings, she and I
concomitantly took advantage of the
underage masses with our gin-slingingly
seductive ways.
If the devil wore a black dress, and
drove a black Mercedes on wheels of
fierce loyalty and undying devotion for
her friends, with tinted windows and a
perpetual shade of nicotine smoke,
well, that would be Ari.
I guess we'd all be in hell. But,
shit, wouldn't you rather have her at
the helm of Hades? Me too.
constantly during college. She
wouldn't even speak with me --
verbally -- but, each morning when I
left my dorm, I would find her just
outside, scantily clad, lashed to a
Hutt, giving me that Organa-esque look
that says, "Take me. Take me before
the guards come." I would have none
of it, of course, but I'm still
haunted by that look.
good natured about it. It only took her four
years to start giving me shit about it. It's
good that she doesn't have a long memory for
that kind of thing. The jibes were good
natured, though. I called her "Tank Top Girl."
Because, you know, she wore tank tops. Not
as funny as a$$-ice, but you know how it is.
snowball down the back of her pants. The
coolness factor is high but, yeah, mostly the
butt-snowball...that's what stands out. That's
what the kids in Belgium are talking about:
a$$-ice.
moves from LA to NY and the
East/West beef ends....coincidence?
I think not...
of college thinking that Ms. Ari was
probably a bitch because she was
pretty and she acted. Which is
usually a surefire stereotype, but I
was quickly proven wrong. She's a
cool girl and a great bartender even
though I've never ordered anything
more complicated than a Guinness. I
miss her a lot because, as Tront
says, "she's got more shit than a
bitch."