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"First off, I am NOT a monkey. Nor am I a "pygmy chimpanzee", though too frequently refered to as one based on some..."
More about bonobo
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Occupation:
Endangered Species
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Affiliations:
www.bonobo.org, www.bonobos.org, WWF, ICCN, CI, DNApes, WCS, NGS, SSP, Smithsonian, Leakey Fndtn. Claudine Andre
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Hobbies and Interests:
Egalitarian social structure, intra-herd politics, grooming, G-G rubbing, penis fencing, sex, masturbation, sugar cane, grubs, fireflies, avoiding extinction
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Favorite Books:
Where the Wild Things Are, The Real Story of the Bonobos Who Wore Glasses, almost everything by F. DeWaal, The Joy of Sex, Demonic Males, The Woman That Never Evolved
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Favorite Movies:
Easy Rider, The Harder They Come, Harold and Maude, Sweet Sweet Back's Baaaaaad Asssss Song, Caligula, what's up tigerlily? the trials of life with david attenborough
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Favorite Music:
Marvin Gaye, Air, Pharcyde, Donovan, Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Prince, Madonna, Michael Jackson, cicadas, turacles, bushbabies, etc.
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Favorite TV Shows:
Nature, Playboy, Nova, National Geographic, CNN world news, Soul Train
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Zodiac Sign:
Leo
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About Me:
First off, I am NOT a monkey. Nor am I a "pygmy chimpanzee", though too frequently refered to as one based on some unfounded early observations before people realized that I am not significantly smaller than P. troglodytes, just *slimmer*. Moreover, I do not have CrAZy sex all of the time. I use sex to resolve conflicts frequently, when conflicts occur, but the average sexual encounter is very short (10 seconds) and the longer ones may last up to 30 seconds and they occur mostly when there's a lot of food around and I get excited. If there's a problem between me and
anyone (typically another bonobo) I would prefer to hump
you, or touch genitals somehow and walk away happy than
duke it out with teeth and claws. However, I have been known
to fight on occasion and if you really
piss me off that much, I won't hesitate to sink my canines
into you. I don't get out of the forest much, as I tend to
get poached when I do. Otherwise, you can find me in
southern california, ohio, germany, denmark, off the coast of
england, Georgia (USA) to name a few. Who's dominant is hard to say with my species- but the ladies
are the ones to decide who's on top, so to speak. If you
want to be part of my friendster, you must first make
friends with the lady-folk. Doing this involves grooming
me, giving me food, rubbing my back, rubbing my clitoris
and kissing up in general.
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Who I Want to Meet:
Feministas and Feministeros. Forest Friends. Folk who can
admit when they're wrong and know how to kiss and make up. Those who believe that there are other ways of solving conflict than aggression. Thoughtful and conscienctious people.
No perverts, please, I'm open with my sexuality but I am
not a sideshow display for entertainment.
I want as many people to know about me as possible, and want to be friends with as many people as possible- but I am still discriminating. I am giving my name here, but for the time being I won't necessarily choose just anyone as a friend.
If it looks like you're interested in me because you think that I'm sex-crazy, and a hippie-ape, you haven't read enough. If you ask me to give you sexual favors, forget it. If you're into equal rights, give and take, conflict resolution, human evolution, social awareness, international policies specifically in terms of sub-sarharn africa etc. we should get along just fine.
1st: bonobo
2nd: paniscus
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bonobo is in your extended network |
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chimps....
better part of a year just to be with
bonobo- I moil and toil for her benefit
alone, swatting at tse-tse's, drowing in
malarial fits, or sitting at desks in
frigid, sunless places for months on
end, exchanging my soul for kraut and
white asparagus just to make sure that
her voice is heard in a chimp-happy
world - - and she calls me a hippie.
we'll see how peaceful this hippie is at
5 in the morning when you're trying to
sleep in after a long night of nothing
but windy rainstorm this summer, bitch-
you're going down!
were both part of a poached
animals/co-dependents anonymous support
group that met weekly in an abandoned
meat-factory in Chicago's south side in
the mid-80's. Back in those days bonobo
was toting this crazy device around that
allowed people who had undergone
destructive throat surgery to continue
to talk. It served her well, but
sometimes the words came out sounding
off. During one particularly heated
session I came to odds with a flock of
aleutian geese and bonobo said to me
through this throat box, Chinchilla,
just sympathize with those poor geese,
but I heard, Chinchilla, just
synthesize widda your fleece- and the
solution to my problems came to me. I
teamed up with a group of outdoor
clothing designers from Patagonia, and
the Synchilla fleece has made my
fortune. I owe it all to bonobo- her
efforts to mitigate landed me a cushy
roof-top penthouse in Paris and
unlimited pairs of pants that zip apart
in five different places.