Harley Jebens

Private investigation and psychic phenomenon

writing, bicycling, tennis, fly-fishing, camping, hiking, sciene fiction, robots, pirates, werewolves, Groucho Marx, Karl Marx, Lake Baikal, Fred Smith's Concrete Park, politics, Evil Kneivel, bikini car washes, bikini atolls, seemingly unsolvable crimes

The Book of Virtues, Madonna's Sex book, Cryptonomicon, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, The Shadow Over Innsmouth (I mean Post White Rock Apartments)

The Big Lebowski, The Wild Bunch, Duck Soup

I love oud music, accordion music, harmonica solos and the sweet, sweet sounds of the saxophone. Oh, and folk singers. Oh, you mean particular artists? OK. How about ... Run DMC, Bob Dylan, Fred Eaglesmith, Greg Brown, Guy Clark, Texas Instruments

I'm With Busey, Astronaut Jones, Rockford Files, News Radio

You are probably asking the question that so many others
before you have asked:

Esteemed scientists like Einstein, Tesla, Edison.

Great Americans like Abraham Lincoln, Lance Kerwin and Evil
Knievil.

Evil dictators like Hitler, Idi Amin and my 6th grade
English teacher.

Who? They have all asked. Who the heck is this mysterious
Johnny Misfortune? Or perhaps you know him better as Harley
Jebens.

The answer to that question is simple, my friends.

Johnny Misfortune (Harley Jebens, if you prefer. Which I
DON'T) is:

A man, like any other. A simple man, with simple needs. A
purveyor of find quality cheeses. Wanted in 37 states ...
but not yours, so rest easy there, pal. A millionaire. He
owns a mansion. And a yacht.

Johnny Misfortune is also:

A captain of Industry. The inventor (Okay. Co-inventor) of
Gravity. And a friend to women and orphans.

Also, a brewer. And a patriot. A demogauge. And a non-
registered write-in candidate for the governorship of
California. A even-mannered pacifist AND a quick-tempered
pugilist. A professional gambler. A raconteur of no
particular merit. Loved by the ladies. Envied by the
fellas. He tips well and eats quickly. His boots - made for
walking. His guns - made to take to town (and to order!)
His belt buckle - Woody Woodpecker with a Machine Gun
(there's that pacifism again.)

And last of the good time private investigators (natch). ;)

If you have a crime that needs solving, then YOU need to
meet ME.

Personal motto: If you can't do the time ... call
me. 'Cause I got nothing BUT time, baby!!