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"I don't think I started really living until Winter of
1989. That was the first time I smoked so much pot that not
only did..."
More about Andrew
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Schools (Other):
Bellevue Community College, New York University, Pierce College, West Hills College, Long Beach State University
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Occupation:
Potty mouthed party wrecker
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Hobbies and Interests:
Science and anything else that makes Jesus a liar
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Favorite Books:
Anything written by a comedian or books heavy with pictures, I'm not book smart but I am magazine smart, do maps count as books?
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Favorite Movies:
strange brew, joe vs. the volcano, pootie tang, king of comedy, caddyshack, blazing saddles, lost in translation, city of god, do the right thing, repo man, waiting for guffman, dirty work, comedian, l.a. confidential
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Favorite Music:
layo & bushwacka, turin brakes, avalanches, laptop, northern state, har mar superstar, the chemical brothers, mc paul barman, erlend oye, Punjabi MC, Felix Da Housecat, Interpol, Regurgitator, TISM, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Stellastarr, Phoenix, Zero 7
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Favorite TV Shows:
sealab, monty python, aqua teen, mr.show, tough crowd, sportscenter, conan o'brien, fawlty towers, survivor, arrested development, mclaughlin group, the state, monk, reno 911, gilmore girls, alias, 24, letterman, iron chef, Kellerman era Around the Horn, PTI
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About Me:
I don't think I started really living until Winter of
1989. That was the first time I smoked so much pot that not
only did going to the Wetlands to see Max Creek sound like a
good idea, it WAS....
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Who I Want to Meet:
I wanna meet BEAUTIFUL people. I got no time for people that
aren't breathtakingly gorgeous. If you don't have 4 or 5
people stalking you and people begging you to get into
modeling, don't even bother. Seriously, if you're ugly, I
hope someone comes up to you and shits right in your mouth.
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Andrew |
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sammich shop & found someone scarfing
down a mayo sammich. that made me
think...did andrew prophesize this!??! I
think so. & i thank you for showing me
the "sign". my life has only just begun,
thank you Prophet of the Papal Itch.
again...I laugh at anything...
was to own the New England Patriots. He
told me he would bring back that logo
with the dude squatting over the ball
in a full soldier's outfit. I don't
know what to make of that, but I think
Freud would have a field day with that.
to get rid of the hiccups by shoving a
garden gnome up an elephant's ass while
screaming "Popcorn for President! at
the top of your lungs, believe'em, cause
it worked for me and Andy's the fella
who gave me this foolproof recipe. He's
also the young fresh follow who taught
me the 8 simple words that'll get you
through any situation in life, no matter
how difficult: "What are you trying to
pull fuck face?!
to your door... Actually, if anyone
taller than your door frame ever
comes to your door, don't open it. It's
pretty much the same as inviting a
vampire into your home, minus the
thrill of the fangs biting into your
neck. Find your nearest tiki bar, the
kind that's heavy on drink umbrella
usage, and seek shelter there. You'll
both find the lava lamps and dark
surroundings more inducive to talk of
puppies and other small things.
Before you know it, he'll be asking
you to fly to Mexico and be in his
wedding or something weird like
that. You'll never wake up from the
nightmare, believe me.
tall Aryan Nations appearance,
Andrew has a unique, some would
say magical talent. I first became
acquainted with his special gift
several years ago. I was having
trouble staying "focused during my
monthly marital duties in the
bedroom. My wife was about to file
for a divorce, when Andrew stepped
in and offered to "heal me. At first I
was skeptical, but he can be very,
very persuasive. I won't give away
any of his "trade secrets, but
Andrew 's method involves only
common household items such as
vegetable oil and a feather duster.
After that one session I never again
failed to achieve with my wife.
Andrew is quite willing and insistant
to share his healing touch with any
and all gentlemen. You can find him
offering his services every afternoon,
around 3:30 in the Port Authority Bus
Terminal men's restroom, third stall
on the left.