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"I'm fat, ugly and cross-eyed. Also, I'm bow-legged and have a lisp due to my 4 snaggle teeth. People often tell me that I..."
More about Eric
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Schools (Other):
USC Grad Student (2006-2008)
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Occupation:
Model Citizen
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Hobbies and Interests:
your mom, your dad, your cat, your dog, your left pinky toe, maybe your right and fish.
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Favorite Books:
UCI General Catalog
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Favorite Movies:
Empire Records, Dragon, Forrest Gump, Fight Club, Insomnia, Menace to Society, Snatch, Matrix, Lord of the Rings
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Favorite Music:
Bob Marley, Slightly Stoopid, New Found Glory, Weezer, LB Dub, Sublime, UB40, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, 2Pac, RHCP, Fiji, Incubus and different types of Reggae, Ska, Punk, Rock, Alternative, Classical, Rap, Hip Hop and some dirty old Country. Holla
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Favorite TV Shows:
Television plagues the soul. I blame my corruption on that damn Scooby Doo.
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About Me:
I'm fat, ugly and cross-eyed. Also, I'm bow-legged and have a lisp due to my 4 snaggle teeth. People often tell me that I smell like a cross between rotten bananas and gasoline. Not sick of my lip?:
www.xanga.com/mr_california, www.myspace.com/mr_california.
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Who I Want to Meet:
Though I am a part of the F.A.T. farm, I do like people of the ugly genre with TMB who add a pinch of dinglebery in their sexy spam, live on LBC type mother beaches, are half moody and half monkey, hope to acquire some R3 and baby j flavor, and pee in the shower while blowing. Most importantly, they must be able to use crayons while eating numerous donuts.
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Happy Cherry is very questionable. He
makes fun of my outfits and tells me I
look like a train wreck, teases me
about the way I sit and how my legs
have a mind of their own, calls me
drunk and proceeds to get upset with
me, takes incriminating video footage
that he claims he has erased (but we
all know that will never happen!), and
leaves bite marks on me to the point
where when people ask what I was
attacked by, I answer with an over
grown leech. Perhaps I may enjoy the
last one, but just a little bit!
Amongst all the teasing and hard
feelings, somehow I still have fun with
this boy!
err bear has depleted my self-resolve.
I have decided to cave into the "Eric
cult". And though my testimonial can be
vastly overlooked in the sea of praise,
I realize I have withheld from this
temptation for too long. When you touch
me with your illustrious index finger,
I want to reach out and suck it, no
matter where we are. As Kelis
says..."lets get it on in Public". Or
To simplify Marvin Gaye style: "lets
just get it on. Maki Maki, we want
Sake....and Cheetos. There is nothing
better than mushy Cheetos straight from
my mouth, to this guy's. Ah to replay
that wonderful moment indefinitely
would bestow upon me endless pleasure.
Eric Takes care of me....or is it Bruises
me? His rough hugs make me cringe and
desire at the same time. And though we
joke, I know there is something deeper
in him that perhaps one day he will let
me see, perhaps after his 6th
testimonial to me. Eric, I have one
thing to say to you: Your Barks have
calmed and impassioned my soul.
on me all the time cuz I'm like 5
times smaller than him. If I had a
nickel for every time he beat me up,
I'd be the richest man in the
world!!! HEHEHEHE, j/k.....but Eric
does look kinda mean. Took me so long
to write this guy a testimonial cuz
theres just so much positive things to
say about him, thats why I figured I'd
start with the negatives. Okay, so
now to the positives.....this guy is
like a super pimp machine. He's has
girls hanging all over him and he's a
crazy dancer like non other. Eric is
a great guy (dunno about that model
citizen thing tho) and best of all,
he's a brownie!!!
soooooo gullible so tell him that ur
moving.
favorite Sugar Daddy. He likes to get
in trouble with cops in the bathroom
and enjoys giving concussions just by
walking or sitting next to you. His
favorite past time includes buying me
more Newcastle than I can drink and
showering me with compliments ;). But
watch out because when you're not
looking Eric likes to steal cucumbers
from your plate all the while
insisting that you put it there. And
be even more careful when you're
sleeping because Eric revels in taking
incriminating photos down your shirt.
All in all, these quirks add up to one
amazing guy. Being so popular with
his two friendster accounts and all,
you'd think that he wouldn't have time
for you, but he does. I came to
realize this when after barely
speaking to him all summer, we saw
each other on Ring Road and headed to
our second home, the Pub. There, Eric
said, "I haven't spoken to you in so
long, but its like I have (I like to
quote you, haha). Though sounding
like a pick up line ;), I sincerely
realized the same. I never thought
I'd build the friendship I have with
the guy that pointed out boba in my
teeth and ignored me the first time we
were introduced, but I'm happy to say
I did. Eric's as sincere and genuine
as you get. Being so modest, Eric
doesn't know how to take compliments,
so I'll end off with saying that I
have the best Sugar Daddy in the
world!
one month ago. a couple of us brown
kids were drinking. i, personally, got
shit faced. never been more drunk in my
life. i have no recollection of the
evening. that was the last time i saw
eric. i think i killed him. i mean, i
know it doesnt make much sense
considering we've talked on the phone,
and people have seen him, but dude,
where the hell is this kid?! he never
should have gotten mixed up with the
mafia. my condolences to his family.
writing this memorable testimonial and
then my window closed without
explanation. I blame the one and only,
Mr. California. Anyways, I was just
thinking about how much torment you
brought into my life since I haven't
hung out with you for the past couple
of weeks, and how much I haven't
missed it!! Well, I am lying. I HAVE
missed my partner in crime! I was
running around campus trying to kill
people, but it didn't work with just
one member in the Mafia. And then I
tried carrying a conversation in
Mulaka Chipyoola with someone, and
they just raised an eyebrow at me. It
just wasn't the same without the
eyebrow ring in it. But I just wanted
to say that Eric is what scientists
would call Homo Dorkus. I hope I see
you reaaal soon buddy!!
Eric a little more appropriate
Testimonial then I have previously,
even though he obviously doesn't need
anymore! So I first came to know this
kid as FAT and big talk amongst the
women. Then slowly I found out he was
pretty chill and he eventually became
my "Pre-Party Buddy! He was one of
the few people that were down to drink
at any event, hence skipping Rosco's
for a night of drunken ten-finger/pool
fun. As time continued we all learned
that he was a Superhero turned Villain
who only uses Febreeze while PMSing!
This Happy Cherry has no problem
pouring his own urine on his fellow
cherries or playing mafia by himself at
8 a.m. at a restaurant across from
Balley's! He also has a tendency to
get you to do crazy things in
bathrooms, but maybe that is just me
and my bathroom buddy or should I say
buddies at this point in time! Just
warnin all ya'll he is definitely
colorblind, unless he forgot to mention
a part of the story when he said I was
chocolate cake! Eric definitely lives
in the moment and enjoys life. He
handles things as they come to him, not
allowing them to burden others. Always
optimistic and open hearted. Very much
an independent person, who always wants
to leave an impact on others. Never
thinking I would ever consider this guy
my friend, I am very pleased to say he
is!
smells like onions...
doesn't know me... i was a spopper this
year and i had a great priviledge to
have BIG ERIC as one of my staffers...
and they were a mind enhancing group
that continue to make my experience a
perfect movie-created enjoyment...
sorry if that made no sense but okilly
dokilly... on to BIG ERIC... what can i
say that no one knows... well thats
just KRAZY with a capital K... BIG ERIC
your a frickin bad ass-(phalt) guy...
SMART.. LOVED.. CREATIVE.. FUNNY..
INTELLIGENT.. KRAZAAAYYY..
CHALLENGING.. MINDFUL.. CARING..
AWESOME.. HONEST.. TRUTHFULL..
INVENTIVE.. dude your list will go on
for days like j. lo's ass after being
hit by half of the rap world... but
anyways i'm just happy i met you bro..
your kick ass(aka donkey) guy... UCI
along with the rest of us who know you
are lucky.. keep on going dude.. the
rest of the world hasn't seen the
light... if you need help by all means,
i'll help yah.. but for now bro.. lets
party!!!! rock on and live long...
LATER ... MUCH SCV LOVE... PEACE