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"seven second verbal pauses indicate thoughtfulness or stupidity, depending on who you ask"
More about Will
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Messaging Off[Restricted to Will's friends] |
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Occupation:
fire watcher, video editor
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Hobbies and Interests:
cloud litigation
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Favorite Books:
catch-22, cliff notes for hamlet
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Favorite Movies:
dr strangelove, the graduate, bottlerocket, the ice storm, salesman, don't look back, dogtown & z-boys
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Favorite Music:
belle & sebastian, john prine, willie nelson, radiohead, pavement, pixies, bob dylan, beatles, death cab for cutie
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Favorite TV Shows:
the episode of tom & jerry when tom won
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About Me:
seven second verbal pauses indicate thoughtfulness or stupidity, depending on who you ask
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Who I Want to Meet:
god or someone who likes trivial pursuit as much as i do
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late sub-arctic night at the abbey. He
laughted at me and slipped something
into my drink while my tears clouded my
vision. Will didn't even charge me. I
am a little suspicious of his loyalty,
though, because he talked me into
staying in New York and then ran off to
the West Coast. We never even made a
pinata. See what you're missing?
Will is eternally lucky because he was
blessed with kindness. Santa will
favor him with presents of all kinds,
for Will is nice. He is not naughty.
Except... in the sack. Let's face it
people. My man Will sucks cock like a
fuel injection system injects fuel.
of--and became fast friends. our love
for one another deepens with every
passing 1.78 monthes. Will's mastery of
analogy is analogically related to his
ability to transfix most any woman w/
his vesus flytrap come hither puppy-dog
stare at closing time any scotch whiskey
soaked evening any bar bar none...if one
in fact can be analogous to one's own self.
I love Will and think all he declares
himself to be in the second to last
column of his profile is absolute llama
shit save he does have a lot of
potential, may reveal himself to be a
late bloomer and may nod off when you're
speaking to him but only b/c he has
out-hanged everyone else and at this
point his only companion has been
reduced to a slurring, spittling
babbling non-sensical idiot.
possible to lose 600 pounds without
making a big deal out of it. he owns
every tribute album in print, and he
has never, to the best of my knowledge,
shaved his face. also, he never eats a
meal without first bowling a perfect
300 game. consequently, i have known
him to go up to 16 days without eating,
which is impressive because every day
without food he gets weaker and weaker,
making the challenge greater, and the
stakes higher and more ridiculous.
radio and i were out on the town about
a month and a half ago, guzzling
mudslides and injecting crystal meth
into our tongues and all, and then
radio, that crazy fucking retard, in
his meth induced stupor just walks
right out in the middle of the street,
is hit by a mack truck, and it slices
his left arm clean off!!! i'm
like, "holy shit, this is terrible!".
and will just totally knows how to
handle the situation. he says "ok,
radio, vadim, just chill out for a
second." he claps his hands and rubs
them together like mr.miyagi, sticks
his hands on radio's bloody stump, and
busts out with these crazy
motivational dance moves and then
radio's arm just grew right back!
seriously, i'm not playing with your
mind, will is a disciple of god, he
can heal the sick and maimed with his
stellar choreography. that my friends
is the power of motivational dancing,
that my friends is the power of will.
and will is favorite friendster for
radio!!! will provide almost as much
inspiration for me as radio does for
him!!! will and radio are the new
force that drives friendster!!! become
freindster for both radio and will and
watch your fortune grow
exponentially!...radio!!
i am your roomate, but you shouldn't
prance around naked, even if it
is "motivational dancing".
third time in 10th grade, Will sat with
me, folding origami swans until I felt
better. He must have folded, like,
five hundred swans. My room smelled
like paper for days after.