Andy D

Epicurean

pornographer

Perverts

Hitting that shit, eating cheeseburgers and lobsters with jews, dogs, dancing, making out, rapping, rocking out to Ave D, blood in the mud, lightning bolts, hot chicks and sluts, and getting fucking hand jobs all the damn time

Happy Nu Modernism: It Doesn't Matter, Alright! By Jaffe Zinn, Hell's Angels ( Hunter Thomson), The Origin of Species (Charles Darwin), Anything by Kurt Vonnegut, The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea (Mishima), Harry Potter, Edward Gorey, Bukowski stuff, Lolita

Harold and Maude, The Warriors, Over the Edge, The Goonies, The Neverending Story, Ichi the Killer, For a Few Dollars More, Halloween, Nightmare on Elmstreet, Big Trouble in Little China, Mulholland Drive, Blue Velvet, Seven Samurai, Troll 2

Andrew W.K., New Order, Neil Diamond, The Clash, Beyonce, Depeche Mode, Starship, Madonna, Pat Benatar, Neutral Milk Hotel, Guns N' Roses, Prince, Blonde Redhead, Sonic Youth, Cradle of Filth, Joy Division, Angels of Light, The Locust, Johnny Cash, Bonnie Tyler, PJW, Any song written by Jim Steinman

My So-Called Life, CSI, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Space Ghost, Charmed, Seinfeld, Punky Brewster, Diff'rent Strokes (the only strokes I like), Reno 911, Conan, The Daily Show, The Young and the Restless 1987, X-files, The Kids in the Hall, Pretty Things

Scorpio

Dood this just in: I have a damn rattail right now as my haircut its damn amazing, does that count a hipster hairstyle you damn bi-curious fags? Answer me that assholes. When it gets warmer I'm going to ride my magical bicycle everywhere. It's hot pink and the model name is Unicorn, so I can truthfully say I have been riding a unicorn. Beat that.

I kill all the time. I
am amazing, no problem, plus I'm way damn hot. I
fucking write brilliant
awesomeness in the form of the Ancient Japanese art
known as Haiku. I dance at all times. I love cheap
champagne and amaretto sours; I have a two-word vocabulary
while drunk: faggot and cunt. Someone needs to punch me in
the face. I am a co-founding
member of the Nu Modernist/ Post-Humanist/ Pre-Futurist
movements in both academia and life. I beat off to Porn. I
worship my puppy. I am in love with life! I
compare all women I meet to Tammy Stronach (the Empress
from The Neverending Story) Punky
Brewster (as portrayed by Soleil Moon-Fry), and Martha
Plimpton (Stef of the Goonies), who form my trifecta of
awesome chicks. I compare
all doods I meet to Lee Van Cleef, Andrew W.K., and Corey
Feldmen. I am a damn badass and can't even help it. I love
fags. I dropkick awesome scenesters and hipsters when
they talk to
me of mind-blowing prentious plans for art, profound irony,
and
amazing sarcasm, then I go to their houses and give their
hot girlfriends-with-impecable-style spectacular face.
YEAH, ALRIGHT!
Rock slow to my awesome libido:
http://homepages.nyu.edu/~atd210/rockslow.mp3
http://homepages.nyu.edu/~atd210/partynight.mp3
http://homepages.nyu.edu/~atd210/blowyouaway.mp3

Read ultimate enlightenment with my Haiku beginning in April:
http://www.defenestrationmag.net/
See me and my area crew in comic form at:
http://www.lagomorpho.com/rung
hear me talk about music on NPR:
http://marketplace.publicradio.org/shows/2005/01/06/AM200501063.html


Join Andrew W. K. in his ma

The Olsen Twins, Martha Plimpton,
Bjork, Beyonce, Macauley Culkin, Traci Lords, Andrew
W.K. (which I have before, and I must say he is as cool and nice as you think he is), Couple other celebrity crushes: Zoey Deschanel and Mary Lynn Rajskub. Doods who rock all the goddamn time,
and chicks that like killing things, and playing with
puppies, and laughing at stupid hobos, and giving me
fucking hand jobs all the damn time. Ladies who love the words "moist" and "panties" and even like it when the two are said together, as this breed of chicks is exceedingly rare. A girl that dresses like Elisabeth in Masculin Feminin, but acts like Cyndi Lauper. I get tons of friend crushes so don't think i'm some total creep dog if I try to talk to you, it just means you seem boss, and I don't necessarily want you to like put it in me right away or even at all. I'm more like a flower or a mirror. Duh! I mean chicks totally have to take me out and buy at least three dinners before I'll even go dow