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"I am as plump as they come. I eat all day long. I even
have my own food dispenser. Then I sleep. I am very..."
More about Hans
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Messaging Off[Restricted to Hans's friends] |
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Schools (Other):
GW (i lived near there for a while with my momma!)
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Occupation:
Being very chubby
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Affiliations:
My Momma!
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Hobbies and Interests:
eating, chubbiness, breaking open bags of kitty crack, stealing pieces of meat out of the pan in which they are cooking.
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Favorite Books:
Lafcadio, the book my mom wrote and Julie illustrated about me... oh- I also read a lot of existential philosophy- my mom thinks i was Jean Paul Sartre in my past life.
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Favorite Movies:
Anything starring Chris Farley- he's chubby. Oh, and anything about cats- especially fat ones, although, not Garfield- he's such a hater... and he is most certainly not the Original Fat Cat. Have you seen my ass? It is so meeee.
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Favorite Music:
The Avant Garde Disasters or anything by chubby people.
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Favorite TV Shows:
Big Cat Diary, and anything else on Animal Planet, Iron Chef, Emeril, most cooking shows cause i like to watch food as much as i like to eat it, and Blind Date.
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About Me:
I am as plump as they come. I eat all day long. I even
have my own food dispenser. Then I sleep. I am very
standoffinsh unless you brush me, feed me real food (tasty
morsels, my ass) or take care of me when my mommy goes
away. I like to get high with my mommy's friends and
foes. Zaituna is afraid of me. Kevin thinks I am a dog.
I am most certainly not a dog.
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Who I Want to Meet:
I would like to meet someone who is not afraid to date a
chubby guy. I happen to love being fat and I hope to get
fatter. I would also like to meet Dr. Claw's cat from
Inspector Gadget, he's got that bad-ass thing goin on and
i'm a sucker for that.
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Hans |
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walking because he drags his stomach on
the ground. He moves at the pace of a
snail. but i have that problem, too,
sometimes. i do walk really slow, ask
jaime.
decided to give him a bath. I tell ya, it was a
good time! I think he really liked it. Seriously,
if you never tried it you should!
Although, afterwards it is hard to get the hair
off your tongue.
hunzer how wuz you s'pposed to know that
you was so-o faaat oh hunzer hunzer how
wuz you s'pposed to know that you was not a
ra-at chorus: Hun-zer is da nice guy yeah,
he's like white rice, not plaged with the lice
YEAH GUY!
oh hunzer hunzer
how wuz you s'pposed to know
that you was so-o faaat
oh hunzer hunzer
how wuz you s'pposed to know
that you was not a ra-at
chorus:
Hun-zer is da nice guy
yeah, he's like white rice,
not plaged with the lice
YEAH GUY!
Everytime I would come home he would always
be cowering in the corner...what a pussy!
feel like I know him like the back of
my hand. Even though Jessica may
disagree, I feel like Hans and Tigger
(my now deceased kitty) could have been
friends, even though Tiggy was was a
little guy with sugar cookie paws. I
like to think Hans would have chased
Tiggy-butt around, trying to eat his
paws. Ooohhh, mow-ow-ow!
shithole apartment was too small and he
was getting too stony, too often. He
moved temporarily to Philly to live
with my grandmother. Then i moved in
with my boyfriend who is allergic to
Hans, therefore, Hans could not come
back. He is still living in Philly
with my grandmother, and i think he
likes it better than DC. He has a
balcony, a food dispenser, a water
filtration system, and an entire room
dedicated to him. I still see his
chubby butt all the time, though. I'm
the one that bought him his bling
bling, his sixers jersey, and his
catnip forrest plant. I miss my fat
cat and i want him to come home... Hi
Hansy.