I'm going to make three more
Friendster names for myself just so
Emily can add them to her list and feel
more cyber-love. (Not that kind, you
pervert. Put that away. Nobody wants
to see that.) That's how much I love my
EmDuff...and that way she'll give me a
free collander!
I can't tell if the girl in Emily's photo is
me or my doppleganger. She has the
same coat and the lighting is bad.
Emily likes to have everyone around her
look the same. It's kind of scary. Like
the reverse of SWF.
what's so great about Emily is that
when she's old and filthy filthy rich
she's going to talk like a landed
British aristocrat, sneeze out thousand-
dollar-bills (or the equivalent in
pounds sterling), and laugh like a
world-famous gaming artist. But until
then, she'll continue to sleep with a
carrot beneath her pillow, waiting for
a phantasmagorical quarterhorse to come
and take her away to the land of Oz.
Because I'm jealous of the
quarterhorse, and because she's so
adorable, and because I've always had a
thing for old and haughty landed
British women, I'm in love with Emily.
Emily's booksmarts and noble Roman features
make it that much easier to take her seriously when
she's cackling and puking into your mouth like a
mother bird to her infant. She's still on the short
side, tho'
my home dawg winston churchill
once said, "i cannot pretend to feel
impartial about colours. i rejoice with
the brilliant ones and am genuinely
sorry for the poor browns." i say,
"there's no 'u' in 'colors,' Winst." but
getting to my point -- emily's place is
unmistakably among the most
Brilliant of said Colo[u]rs. ...can't wait
to rock at the Heavy Metal Prom with
her t'night. yeeEAAAHhh! <3
emily and i are on our way to go get
jack with from the air port with arron
right now i woudl jsut like to coment
that all of these people are so muhc
more awesome than me i feel dwarfed in
tehir presence, and that the
song "blaze of glory" by the NEPTUNES
(no no not by bon jovi) is simply great.
Faith? Love? Freedom? Is this too much
to ascribe to a simple machine on
which we are both engine and fuel (as
well as passenger and pilot)? The
answer is right there, in your bike
right now. There are about 1.1 billion
bicycles in the world right now. A
billion people are pedaling with
freedom and joy and innocence on the
grandest, noblest toy in all the world.
Thanks, Emily, for giving the gift of
noble, recreational transportation!
Once, when I was a headstrong lad of
20, I challenged Emily to a paper
writing contest. First one to ten
pages wins, I said, and I laughed a
tangerine laugh. I should have known
better. There is nobody whose skill at
paper writing exceeds Emily's. She is
a master, a genius. About three pages
in, I felt in the zone and so cocky
that I went and invited Ernest
Hemingway and William Faulkner to be
my friendsters. And that's right about
the time Emily pounced through the
finish line, handing me a swift and
humiliating defeat.
Hubris, my boys. Emily Dufton. Super
Genius.
And that's the story of how I lost
this arm.
hot polish, baby. sizzle.
Friendster names for myself just so
Emily can add them to her list and feel
more cyber-love. (Not that kind, you
pervert. Put that away. Nobody wants
to see that.) That's how much I love my
EmDuff...and that way she'll give me a
free collander!
me or my doppleganger. She has the
same coat and the lighting is bad.
Emily likes to have everyone around her
look the same. It's kind of scary. Like
the reverse of SWF.
when she's old and filthy filthy rich
she's going to talk like a landed
British aristocrat, sneeze out thousand-
dollar-bills (or the equivalent in
pounds sterling), and laugh like a
world-famous gaming artist. But until
then, she'll continue to sleep with a
carrot beneath her pillow, waiting for
a phantasmagorical quarterhorse to come
and take her away to the land of Oz.
Because I'm jealous of the
quarterhorse, and because she's so
adorable, and because I've always had a
thing for old and haughty landed
British women, I'm in love with Emily.
make it that much easier to take her seriously when
she's cackling and puking into your mouth like a
mother bird to her infant. She's still on the short
side, tho'
once said, "i cannot pretend to feel
impartial about colours. i rejoice with
the brilliant ones and am genuinely
sorry for the poor browns." i say,
"there's no 'u' in 'colors,' Winst." but
getting to my point -- emily's place is
unmistakably among the most
Brilliant of said Colo[u]rs. ...can't wait
to rock at the Heavy Metal Prom with
her t'night. yeeEAAAHhh! <3
jack with from the air port with arron
right now i woudl jsut like to coment
that all of these people are so muhc
more awesome than me i feel dwarfed in
tehir presence, and that the
song "blaze of glory" by the NEPTUNES
(no no not by bon jovi) is simply great.
to ascribe to a simple machine on
which we are both engine and fuel (as
well as passenger and pilot)? The
answer is right there, in your bike
right now. There are about 1.1 billion
bicycles in the world right now. A
billion people are pedaling with
freedom and joy and innocence on the
grandest, noblest toy in all the world.
Thanks, Emily, for giving the gift of
noble, recreational transportation!
mostly just wish i could be more like
her. honestly. i am nothing compared to
emily.
20, I challenged Emily to a paper
writing contest. First one to ten
pages wins, I said, and I laughed a
tangerine laugh. I should have known
better. There is nobody whose skill at
paper writing exceeds Emily's. She is
a master, a genius. About three pages
in, I felt in the zone and so cocky
that I went and invited Ernest
Hemingway and William Faulkner to be
my friendsters. And that's right about
the time Emily pounced through the
finish line, handing me a swift and
humiliating defeat.
Hubris, my boys. Emily Dufton. Super
Genius.
And that's the story of how I lost
this arm.