Ryan Leiderman

The Old School, UF, Dubrulle Culinary School, NYU, BCC, FSU London, University of Georgia, Soft Knocks

University of Florida, Attended - , Class of , Other

Blogger

Dial-A-Meal, Skull and Bones, NAMBLA, Bath Party, Stonecutters, Masons, Apprentice Boys of Derry

English Bay, Europe, Phil Hendrie, Pate Brise, Confit, Hoegaarden, Chorizo Succotash, Mountains

Live From New York, Animation flip books, The Man Who Ate Everything, Crying of Lot 49, Writing a "For Dummies" Book For Dummies

Club Paradise, The Corporation, The Harder They Come, Bottle Rocket, Adaptation, Midnight Cowboy, Grease, Caddyshack

Earth Wind & Fire, Sinatra, The Doors, Junior Murvin, Jimmy Cliff, Marvin Gaye, Temptations, PFunk, James Brown, Louis Armstrong, Robert Nesta, Less Than Jake, Beatles, RBF, Specials, Michael McDonald, Tupac, Michael Jackson, Talking Heads, Mozart, Elvis Crespo, Slick Rick, Queen, Black Violin, Isley Brothers, Gap Band, The Clash, Prince, Notorious B.I.G.

Showtime at the Apollo, SCTV, Seinfeld, Mr. Show, Ali G, Kids in the Hall, Daily Show, Frontline, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Strangers with Candy

Pisces

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet and I get on as a looper on a course over there in the Himalayas (A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock).
So, I tell 'em I'm a pro jock and who do you think they give me? The Dali Llama himself. Twelfth son of the Llama. Flowing robes, grace, bald... striking. So I'm on the first tee with him, I give him the driver. And he hauls off and whacks one. Big hitter the Llama... long. Into a 10,000 foot crevace right at the base of this glacier. And the Llama says, "Gunga, Galunga... Gunga, Gaungalagunga." So we finish eighteen and he's gonna stiff me. So I say, "Hey Llama, hey! How about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" And he says, "Oh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total consciousness."
So I got that going for me, which is nice.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds: pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it....

Ricky Gervais