would you rather have hands that were plastic see-thru protractors and yellow mechanical pencils as your pinky fingers, or would you rather spontaneously sprout hair all over your breasts every time someone told you they missed you? by the way, I MISSSSSS YOU joojoobee!
hey juujuubee, i just birthed a handful of
hairless, helpless, blind rodent-looking feline
orphans out of a maternal orifice in my body. will
you now cradle my teets in your gargantuan
mammoth hands and visit me twice a day now like
spatz? (or do i have to ferociously shit my fur every
day as well).
Ok, IT IS TOTALLY CONFIRMED. Julia is
absolutely, no doubt about it,
definitely, unequivocally, doubtlessly,
positively, unquestionably, specifically
a HUMAN CARTOON. Yesterday, she actually
even SLIPPED on a REAL, SPLAYED BANANA
PEEL! You cannot imagine my childish
delight when she windmilled her arms and
uttered her cartoonish "WOAAAAAAH!" and
bugged out her eyes (at least 3 inches
out!!!), but the best part was the sweat
beads that sparked upward and out in an
angelic framelike halo from her head-
JUST LIKE IN THE CARTOONS!
jujubee tries to veer conversations
topics and manipulate subject matters
and inflate adjective descriptions just
so she can verbally sneak in her two
holiest words, either: "innocuous" or
"permutation." this brat tries to do
this at least once a day.
It is really annoying to be friends with
a real-life gnome. I mean, at first it
was bewildering, enchanting and utterly
endearing, but then all the gnome-ish
complications and played-out antics
started kicking in once i started
hanging out full time with this punk.
Weird shit like folding her hands and
then all of a sudden a four-leaf clover
would appear in her palm. Then the
half-eaten dead rats and of course, the
"high-knees" gnome dance, which would be
totally tolerable, were it not for her
"jazz hands" that somehow gnomishly
conjure up 14K gold pebbles to fall from
the sky. On top of all this, her gnomish
physical limitations, such as short leg
span and pathetic respiratory
capacity(she needs CPR to resucitate her
after blacking out every time she
sneezes) is just all really demanding.
(Eew- those cakey gnomish lips and rat
breath)! I suggested to her a wheelchair
to accommodate for her physical
shortcomings, but now she insists on
traveling on a cloud. What a pretentious
lil fuck.
My owner told me that Julia told him
about 47. I think that this is a
figment of one's imagination. You
only see it more because you are
looking for it. Ask a Scientist.
and one time at architecture camp, i
met a grrl named julia. i asked if i
could have a miniature julia to keep in
my pocket to cheer me up on the darkest
of dc days. but so far no luck, maybe
santa will bring me a julia doll...
miss you, baby.
If I had a dollar for every time it has
been suggested (either by myself or
others) that I should give Julia
several hundred dollars to buy me a new
wardrobe and make me "cool," finally, I
would actually have said several
hundred dollars, and you, sir or madam
reader, would already be regarding my
fashion acumen with wonder, fear, envy,
and, let's face it, lust. Roiling
lust. You would want me so much, sir
or madam reader, that it would eat you
up inside. This is my revenge for the
way you ignored me in high school.
hairless, helpless, blind rodent-looking feline
orphans out of a maternal orifice in my body. will
you now cradle my teets in your gargantuan
mammoth hands and visit me twice a day now like
spatz? (or do i have to ferociously shit my fur every
day as well).
absolutely, no doubt about it,
definitely, unequivocally, doubtlessly,
positively, unquestionably, specifically
a HUMAN CARTOON. Yesterday, she actually
even SLIPPED on a REAL, SPLAYED BANANA
PEEL! You cannot imagine my childish
delight when she windmilled her arms and
uttered her cartoonish "WOAAAAAAH!" and
bugged out her eyes (at least 3 inches
out!!!), but the best part was the sweat
beads that sparked upward and out in an
angelic framelike halo from her head-
JUST LIKE IN THE CARTOONS!
topics and manipulate subject matters
and inflate adjective descriptions just
so she can verbally sneak in her two
holiest words, either: "innocuous" or
"permutation." this brat tries to do
this at least once a day.
again
a real-life gnome. I mean, at first it
was bewildering, enchanting and utterly
endearing, but then all the gnome-ish
complications and played-out antics
started kicking in once i started
hanging out full time with this punk.
Weird shit like folding her hands and
then all of a sudden a four-leaf clover
would appear in her palm. Then the
half-eaten dead rats and of course, the
"high-knees" gnome dance, which would be
totally tolerable, were it not for her
"jazz hands" that somehow gnomishly
conjure up 14K gold pebbles to fall from
the sky. On top of all this, her gnomish
physical limitations, such as short leg
span and pathetic respiratory
capacity(she needs CPR to resucitate her
after blacking out every time she
sneezes) is just all really demanding.
(Eew- those cakey gnomish lips and rat
breath)! I suggested to her a wheelchair
to accommodate for her physical
shortcomings, but now she insists on
traveling on a cloud. What a pretentious
lil fuck.
about 47. I think that this is a
figment of one's imagination. You
only see it more because you are
looking for it. Ask a Scientist.
met a grrl named julia. i asked if i
could have a miniature julia to keep in
my pocket to cheer me up on the darkest
of dc days. but so far no luck, maybe
santa will bring me a julia doll...
miss you, baby.
been suggested (either by myself or
others) that I should give Julia
several hundred dollars to buy me a new
wardrobe and make me "cool," finally, I
would actually have said several
hundred dollars, and you, sir or madam
reader, would already be regarding my
fashion acumen with wonder, fear, envy,
and, let's face it, lust. Roiling
lust. You would want me so much, sir
or madam reader, that it would eat you
up inside. This is my revenge for the
way you ignored me in high school.