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      Testimonials and Comments for Elizabeth

      • Alex
      • Posted
      • Oh Liz, there's nothing like, you know,
        getting to know someone. I remember
        when i first really got to know you, it
        was at Rip Torn's 102nd birthday bash,
        do you remember? Of course you do. I
        was doing the wall flower thing and you
        were doing the drinking thing and well
        i can't say i was having a very good
        time until Rip introduced us. You
        smiled and pretended to hear my name.
        The stink of O'Shanley's Irish Cream
        wafting off you was intoxicating. Later
        when i sidled up to you at the snack
        table mentioned how good the dip was
        you gave me the funniest look. I swear
        i nearly crapped myself. It was like we
        hadn't been introduced at all! But
        that's what's so funny about you, you
        take a joke all the way. Anyway later
        in the bathroom when i accidently
        walked in on you and that caterer
        making-out that's when i think you took
        it too far. Fernando was really hitting
        me Liz! but oh well i guess i'm not the
        first guy to bleed for comedy. I'll
        never forget your soft dulcet cackle as
        my red red blood soiled Fernie's white
        tux jacket. I think i kept some of the
        teeth i lost that night. I must have
        them somewhere. Who knows, i can't find
        anything after the move. Did i mention
        i had to downsize apartments after the
        lawsuit. Who ever heard of stalking
        laws, anyway? Besides i really do
        happen to walk the same way to work as
        you, you know from the parking garage,
        to my office which is in your apartment
        building. And i swear, my cell phone is
        dialing your number on its own. I'm
        trying to call Dowling. Honest. But i
        don't hold any of that against you. I
        know its really that lawyer of yours.
        He just wants you money, Lizzy, i'm
        telling you. Call me, I'll read you
        this "restraining order" thing he sent
        me. Crazy. Seriously though have you
        been getting my letters? I have to send
        them to your manager now that you
        changed apartments, and frankly i'm not
        going to send sensitive material like
        these little love notes to a PO Box. I
        called Max (is that his name?) over
        there at A&C managment but his
        extension doesn't seem to be working...
        still whatever, right. I gotta keep
        trying? Gotta talk to my little red
        headed fire cracker. xoxo Cruz. PS -
        hung like a horse. YOU KNOW IT. jk lol -
        in joke in da house. Say hi to
        Frenie. how's his knuckles?
      • Erin
      • Posted
      • Liz is a master of the ancient Asian
        self-defense technique called jujitsu.
        All those times you've seen her
        randomly fall down in the street were
        just a ruse. She'll snap your neck in
        two seconds flat. When she tells you
        that she's going to "yoga" she really
        means "intensive martial arts training"
        and when she says she's shooting
        a "Norman Lear thing" she really
        means "acting as Jackie Chan's stunt
        double." Liz is fierce. Seriously,
        though, Liz is an amazing friend who
        has gotten me through many a crisis
        with her words of wisdom and support.
        She's one of the most reliable and
        freaking funny people I know. And when
        I need a beer at the end of a long,
        hard day, Liz is the first person I
        call to join me. All hail Liz Hackett!
      • Andy
      • Posted
      • I once was travelling through Columbia
        with Liz - the country's beauty only
        rivaled by its poverty. We were
        staying in a small village outside of
        Cali on the Pacific coast. It was an
        unusually hot afternoon and we were
        sipping a couple of beers at a local
        cafe. The humidity was enervating,
        but in that good way and the beer was
        bringing to a level of comfort neither
        of us had felt since living in Los
        Angeles. While waiting for the check
        a couple of large SUV's came roaring
        into frame and out jumper several
        heavily armed men shouting in a
        language neither one of us
        understood. I cowered under the
        table, but Liz knew exactly what to
        do. She did a well-practiced roll-
        dodge, into one of the men taking out
        his legs knocking the very suprised
        thug to the ground. Liz quickly
        smashed her elbow into his face and
        knocked him out. Before the other
        paramilitaries knew what was going on
        Liz was back on her feet - this time
        holding two very large automatic
        weapons. She flipped them her
        trademark smile and began mowing down
        the nonplussed quasi-soldiers.
        Bullets, blood and guts were flying
        everywhere - Liz being the architect
        of this scene. After the last man was
        put to sleep, she picked up her beer,
        took a swig and told me it was safe to
        come out from under the table.

        This is why Liz rocks. Looking
        forward to Pakistan!
      • Michael
      • Posted
      • Except for "The Incident", there is
        nothing bad to be said of Liz. Her
        epicurean knowledge of crackers is
        amazing. She might have an easier time
        with the Law if she confined her
        navel-gazing to her own, but it's nice
        to get out of the house every so often
        to bail a friend out. She always gets
        the first round on nights like these.
        She's fun and saucy and I can honestly
        say that I have never had a bad time in
        her company.
      • Joey
      • Posted
      • I have one thing to say about Liz:
        She's one good shag.
      • Hilary
      • Posted
      • You would imagine Liz and I are
        attached at the hip since we're writing
        partners. But I'll let you in on a
        little secret...it's our love of MONKEY
        MOVIES that bind us for life! Liz is
        awesome, and we loooooove her.
      • Angry Marge
      • Posted
      • Liz is one of my bitches. You know how
        we all have a group of bitches? Well
        Liz is one of mine. I love this Ho. We
        sued to live together in the guest
        house of Captain Mauser from Police
        Academy 2. Evetry morning Liz would
        sneak into the mainhouse while Mauser
        was taking a shower and replace his
        shampoo with glue. and then he'd run
        around the house naked with his hands
        glued to his head yelling MAHONEY!!!!
        Liz is really really funny. Gentleman
        you should get to know her, if you
        don't I might cut you with my razor.
        Liz is msart and successful and her
        favorite food is beer. Oh and she is
        the most fun of my bitches.
      • Maha
      • Posted
      • liz is even more beautiful in person.
        and though she is ridiculously well
        adjusted, she is soooo funny, she makes
        me pee in my pants which is so
        inconvenient - i have to change my
        pants a lot. she is a super talented
        successful writer and i'm her agent - i
        know these things. she is fun, fun,
        fun. you should check out her comedy
        troupe. you too will pee in your pants.
      • Tim
      • Posted
      • LIZ IS MAYBE THE GREATEST WOMAN EVER.
        We have known each other since freshman
        year at USC. She never fails to make me
        laugh. or make me...wily. I don't know
        what that means. You should get to know
        Liz and aks her interesting questions
        like: what was it like having Captain
        mauser from Police Academy 2 as your
        landlord.

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