Don't you hate it when this happens -
You wake up after a night of heavy
drinking, when all of a sudden, fear grips
you - "Did I sleep with a chick last night,
or a dude, and worse yet, was it a
minority?" Then you realize that the
rotting, blood smeared 8 year old body
next to yours is way too mangled to
determine the race and sex of it. So you
have another quickie and then go back
to bed. What do you mean that's never
happened to you?
If you can't tell by his name, Gino is from
Canada. And he's made entirely of the oil
found in Olives. That is to say, he's a dirty
fucking Italian. but i don't hold that against
him, his hands are as soft as the velveteen
rabbit (had the velveteen rabbit been a gay,
canadien born, italian with a penchant for
eating assholes).
I am a sucker for Gino. You know what
I'm talking about. Olive oil, snuggles
and a Nonna who prays for me. I
testify that essence of Gino works
wonders for my aches and pains.
yes that's a photo of me petting a llama, but sadly that same llama was later eaten by kirstie alley
i had sex with scarlett johanssen. that puts me one snatch away from both colin ferrel and jared leto.
i gave my friend lopa a beautiful, brown baby boy, but instead of helping her raise it......i ate it. i'm a bad father. but she forgave me because i picked the leftover umbilical cord out of my teeth.
i know a girl named Laura that fucked my grill. and grill isn't a metaphor for anything. she actually fucked the grill that i bbq shit on my terrace with.
my favorite lyric of all time is by odb and it goes, "i'm the cunt-breath asshole eater and if you want to see me physically eat it i only go (belch)"
Who I Want to Meet:
someone that can make the fucking L train work on the weekends.
remember that terrible remake of rock n' roll highschool starring corey feldman? well, the chick from that abomination that wore her hat to the side...i thought she was cute.
You wake up after a night of heavy
drinking, when all of a sudden, fear grips
you - "Did I sleep with a chick last night,
or a dude, and worse yet, was it a
minority?" Then you realize that the
rotting, blood smeared 8 year old body
next to yours is way too mangled to
determine the race and sex of it. So you
have another quickie and then go back
to bed. What do you mean that's never
happened to you?
Canada. And he's made entirely of the oil
found in Olives. That is to say, he's a dirty
fucking Italian. but i don't hold that against
him, his hands are as soft as the velveteen
rabbit (had the velveteen rabbit been a gay,
canadien born, italian with a penchant for
eating assholes).
I'm talking about. Olive oil, snuggles
and a Nonna who prays for me. I
testify that essence of Gino works
wonders for my aches and pains.
"Jermaine, do we have any hotdogs?"
Obviously these guys are college graduates.
excellent haircare products.