Carver

Governor John Carver, Carver Middle School, Carver High School, Old Colony Memorial, Cape Cod Community College, Bridgewater State (who am I kiddin? that place is only for wicked smaaht kids with like a 650 on the SATs)

Bridgewater State College, Attended 1992 - Present, Postdoctoral, Gay Bashing

foster parent/crank dealer/georgio's delivery guy

my email is carvermassachusetts@yahoo.com

vandalism, stinkfingering, shlooping, date raping, pit pahhties, Div. III HS wrestling, Edaville Railroad, King Richard's Faire, Super Sports memorabilia, collecting minature IROC-Z's, Old Home Day, huffing, tazmanian devil tats

Swank, Barely Legal, Just 18, Catcher in the Rye, scratch tickets, cookbooks including: Georgio's Pizza and Crack Cocaine Cooked in Your Own Kitchen, The Joy of Cooking Crack, 10 Afterschool Snacks for Your 10 Foster Kids

movies about 4-wheelin, movies about lightin shit on fire, movies about lightin shit on fire in the woods, movies about shootin shit, movies about droppin out of high school, any romantic comedy set on the shores of Crystal Lake

Din, Warrant, Metallica, B-Factor, Def Leapord, Bon Jovi, Vanilla Ice, Megadeath, NKOTB, New Edition, Showtunes (I'm faahkin kiddin you dude, them songs is for fags)

Cops, Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, Lip Service or any MTV karaoke type show featuring John Ross and Tony Pena, The Young Indiana Jones, Real World: Pine Tree Village (never aired but it was a faahkin wicked awesome show)

I was born in like 1790 or some shit like that. i'm the son
of a Vinnie/Jock broken marriage. i fuckin HATE the MCAS cause when you have to take em you have to all be like smaaht and shit. i fuckin bombed that fuckin test. i stayed back in the 1st
grade twice, 5th grade i think only one time, and then did
a couple of stints in the 10th grade cause i was all like
fuck you i didn't fuckin throw no stink bomb i only yelled
SHLOOP SHLOOP. i drive an '86 white IROC-Z
with a sticker of Calvin pissin' on a Mustang on the back.
i have 17 and 1/2 tattoos. 13 of them are of the tazmanian
devil. that guy's fuckin wicked pissa. i have him doin
all kinds of shit like spinnin around and shit. i once
made this kingston kid give me a tattoo at gunpoint and i
was all tattoo faster you fuckin fag and he was all cryin.
i also have a tattoo of my 30 year old girlfriend's 15 year
old daughter's baby's foster mother. she's a good shit.
i like pit pahties. you can like burn shit and get so fuckin smashed and throw the empty kegs at dudes' heads or at like kids' cahhs and
shit. I used to go to high school in Plymit but then in like 1989 i
was all like fuck that and i was all ya bitch i'm going to high school on South Meadow Road and shit. and so I was all CHS RULES!!!! I hate kids from Duxbury but kids from Abington and Middleborough are pretty cool. I fucked a fat chick from Wareham after a pit pahhty when we was all like sooo fucked up on bacaaaahdi and like lemonade or some
crazzzy ass shit, and that was cool. i wish i had my own prison. Go Crusaders! what's irony?

LIKES: anyone who ain't all like picky when it comes to
literacy, the inventor of the IROC-Z, the inventor of champion sweatshirts (without hoods), the fashion maven who first wore spotbilt coaching/turf sneakers as dress shoes, any card carrying memba of Mullets of America, chicks inta mullets, chicks inta pit pahties, chicks inta Z-Cavaricci jeans, chicks who think it was ever cool to wear wrestling
sneakers as casual wear, chicks who think it's still cool
to wear wrestling sneakers as casual wear, pregnant chicks,
chicks with other guy's kids, anyone who's up for a trip to Sam Diego's or the Ming Dynasty for some of their famous fried chicken fingers. Someone who wants to vacation with me down in Myles Standish State Forest. DISLIKES: chicks that are all snobby and shit and have a
problem with hangin out in the North Caavaah Cumbie's pahhkin lot for a
first, second, or third date. chicks that have a problem with date rape. chicks who can't fart