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"Hey, I'm a really fun, crazy guy! Once at a party, I stood
on a table and danced! And my friends say I'm pretty
funny!..."
More about Chris
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More About Chris
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Occupation:
Sr. Poopsmith
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Hobbies and Interests:
eating, and all the arts, biannual updating, interests separated with commas...
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Favorite Books:
The Confederacy of You Know What, Ask The You Know What Dust, Dracuknowhat, The Paperyouknowwhatboy, You Know What(Blood)Meridian, Fast Food You Know What, The Magic You Know What Christian, Hobo, Lies and the Lying Liars Who You Know What
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Favorite Movies:
Fat City o.k.?, Heavenly Creatures...I like it a lot, American Graffiti...sure, Duel!, Buffalo 1966, The Emperor of the North god damn it!, (Two) Lane Blacktop, The Turd Factory, 3 Minus 2 Equals You, oh, and Bottlerocket
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Favorite Music:
the freezing warm kind
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Favorite TV Shows:
Pinball Alley, Momo Gone West, The Office, Peas Porridge Hot, Bannigan
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Zodiac Sign:
Aries
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About Me:
Hey, I'm a really fun, crazy guy! Once at a party, I stood
on a table and danced! And my friends say I'm pretty
funny!
Once I put a newspaper in my mouth, the Sunday New
York
Times, and
ran around like a dog! I'm pretty wild. Just ask my
friends...they say I'm pretty funny. Once, at a party... . .
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Who I Want to Meet:
I'm just looking for a down to earth, wild, party girl who
is between 5'5 and 5'6 1/2 and you know, likes to keep
her
bodies fit, and has a sense of humors. Someone to
keep
up
with the wild, crazy, funny guy that I am! My friends say
I'm pretty funny. You should see me at a party. Once, at
a party, I ran around like a dog with a newspaper in my
mouth. My friends say it was the Sunday New York
Times, but,
dude, I had such a heat on, I mean I was wasted, I
really tied one on...so I don't remember which paper it
was exactly. Anyway, she
should
have blonde, brown or black hair. Or red. Or dyed...but
only blue or pink. And she smells nice. All right!!!.....I
can't wait! . . .
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Testimonials and Comments for Chris
birthday!! (tomorrow but still...)
genius with wit for days. Yay, Chris!
very serious label when he asked if i
would attend a taping of some show
with one of his bands in it. since
that first encounter with the
inimitable chris, i've felt lucky to
know him. inimitable! matchless! with
perfect pitch! there are few people
alive who are funnier than chris. he
will never be boring and he will never
get old.
dont you return my calls?
beer cans on his head and set his or
your poo on fire. One time at this
kegger he dared me to play "kick the
dead baby"
and Gary ended up in the ER then on life
support for six months. WOW he is too
much! So watch out for Chris don't let
that sensitive musician act fool you
just ask me or Gary.Gary's totally cool
now.
there a better time to write a
testimonial about someone? Apparently
not. I have nothing to say of this man
other than he is a beacon of light.
Chris is a rock, a stone for which to
lean upon... the relative who has a
comfortable position in a nice
corporate setting and a 401k so dont
feel guilty swiping his credit card.
(That's a joke- cause I'm apparently a
comedian- so if someone DID swipe your
credit card don't take it out on me ...
it was a coincidence... fuck you...
yeah I have a Fleet card too.. get your
hands OFF ME! NO! i'm serious! I;ll
tell Emmet! No! Goddam it! get off!
Fuck you! Oh I'm sorry! no really I'm
sorry I don't know my own strength.
Chris serioysly, sorry dude... let me
get you another drink... how would I
know you just had surgery?.. oh yeah!
like, cause I did it on purpose! I said
I was sorry... well I don't have
insurance either so get over it.. well
sue me then... asshole.) No, yeah,
Chris is pretty cool I guess.
in his 20's made a big impression
on me. I came to see the various
sacrifices and stunts he performed
for the sake of the barest financial
liquidity as sort of monkish virtue. He
used to walk dozens - perhaps
hundreds - of city blocks simply
because he lacked the meager
$1.25 for the subway, and I'm certain
that these treks on foot afforded him
no small amount of personal
reflection. Somewhat similar was his
penchant for gobbling various foods
(15 hard boiled eggs on one
occasion) to gluttonous excess in
exchange for the small amounts of
cash given to him by leering crowds.
These eccentricities seemed to me
at the time not unlike the acts of
ascetic penance performed by
religious pilgrims of centuries gone
by. And although their (and Chris's)
days of deprivation, humiliation and
societal ostracism are over, their
meaning remains: that only through
the combination of negation and
excess that leads to atonement can
we ever know who we truly are.
jam here....could you pull my finger
for a sec whilst I adjust my shoulder
bag that is coming apart- ppptttth!!!"
That is a typical fast one that I would
try to pull on my good friendster
Chris. The thing about Chris that I
love the most is his ability to filter
good ole fashioned fart humor from
nonsensical violence. I hate ass
violence as much as they neighbor, but
Chris is tolerent of it all. Stick out
a finger or a handgun and by God he'll
pull the living shit out of it. That's
how nice he is...And retarded.
"exchmoschmexmo" in the dictionary,
you would see chris' picture.
speaking of pictures, if you click on
"see all 2 pictures" in chris' profile
and take particular note of the
second one, that is what i think of
when i think of chris. he's just
someone who should be pounced
on. in fact, under "interested in
meeting people for:" in his profile, it
should read "just here to be pounced
on" in a good way. not a dirty way.
guess I'm saying he's a big guy, and
some people like that sort of thing.
He dances alot, plays drums, and
has a really deep voice. Get him now
before he grows bad facial hair
again.