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"Just trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents...
Keep it live and keep it popping at my blogsite:..."
More about BhutanANONymous
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Messaging Off[Restricted to BhutanANONymous's friends] |
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Occupation:
We'll see what fortuna has in store. FORSOOTH!
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Hobbies and Interests:
Viva life!, playing the muzakal instruments (badly), racqetball, writing and recording music, watching bootleg DVD's, running illegitimate/illegal/immoral schemes, last but certainly not least: kicking it live with my Molly McButter (i want to nut her).
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Favorite Books:
Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne, 1984 by George Orwell, Me Talk Pretty One Day by Dave Sedaris, Catch 22 by Joseph Heller? Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls (even motherfucking gangsters and satanists can't read that book without shedding some tears)
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Favorite Movies:
Pulp Fiction, Memento, Amelie, Sangre por Sangre, Jenna loves Brianna, Casablanca, Amores Perros (first and third segments), joie de vivre
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Favorite Music:
Weezer, 80's slow jams, All Star Christian Weekend Tongue in Cheek Praise Music, early Death Row, Scott Bond, melancholic rock, Chocolate City and whatever breaks the sweat in the bodyyyyy!
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Favorite TV Shows:
Family Guy, The Simpsons, Knight Rider, Transformers, I Love Lucy, Mexican Blind Date (Buscando Amor!), Iron Chef (FUKUI SAN!), Queer Eye for the Straight Guy... my television tastes tend to roam in homosexualiteee, the city of dreams... or NIGHTMARES?!
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About Me:
Just trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents...
Keep it live and keep it popping at my blogsite:
www.bol.ucla.edu/~jmshim. And if you're feeling especially
saucy, check out www.xanga.com/chubbuni13. Actually, I
shouldn't say that... but know that with great power comes
great respect. This is my curse, and this curse is for
youuuuu...
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Who I Want to Meet:
chill, unpretentious people... well if you don't know, now
you know CHIBA! Cuz I need some love like I've never
needed love before (gonna make love to you baby) I had a
little love now I'm back for more... Cuz two becomes juan,
gusano! And I kiss you on your salty lips, bet you feel a
little crazy for me, hope you don't get VD, BIRCH! I need
a girl who can ride, ride, ride, I need a girl who'll
accept a payload of chorizas in the eyes! Because it
doesn't mean much, doesn't mean anything or anyjuan at
all... and I return into your embrace only to have my
testicles ascend into my throat and my gall bladder burst
from the excess bile production. Because you're my
blushing bride, and I'd ask Jesus for help, but in the end
it really does not matter... or is it in the end, only
kindness matters? In the end, this esoteric discussion
doesn't matter at all, although I'd love to plant myself
with excellent Tae Kwon Do fashion in front of Jewel
Kilcher's nubile and deliciously firm breasts and punch
them while screaming in Tarzanic Greystone
fashion, "ARRRRRR"... arr indeed, matey, arr, for we're
all pirates on the seven seas. Some of us are like Edward
Teacher and rape and pillage with great prowess... others
be akin to Captain Jack Sparrow, discounting all social
mores concerning established gender/sexual norms by
prattling along like a schoolgirl one minute, the next
stabbing a man's heart with a spoon at the third cock's
crow on a moonless night. And then there are the
unfortunate pirates like Vizzini; unfortunate in the sense
that what he considers inconceivable is really just a self-
imposed mental barrier that nullifies an otherwise
brilliant mind... and because the Dread Pirate Roberts
keeps it hot... AND because I live in Califas, otherwise
known to many of the residents as Cali Atzlan. I'm yellow
on the outside but brown on the inside, a la Sangre por
Sangre. We can't let "ARRRRnold" (yet another untimely
incarnation of pirate humour) fuck up CaliAtzlan... for he
feels "a great disconnect with Caleeeeefooooniaaaa and
eeeeetsss residentttts. Come onnnnnn, vote fohhhhh
meeeeee!" Tina Fey, I know you're out there, I know you're
reading this, and I know that we were meant to be as I
sing, "you and me, simultaneously", for there is a God, and
his name is Beastmaster 4001. My pastor told me that I
anthropomorphize God as a bigger version of myself because
I have the notion that God can and has made mistakes in his
sovereignty. But teologico aside, for my sides are rife
with fat, or is it PHAT (?) that they can definitively be
called lust handles... and why are they called love
handles anyway, is it because when present they make for a
convenient handhold during coitus? I wouldn't know,
bitches never give me love... and is it because I call
girls bitches, and am at heart a misogynist hell-bent on
degrading womyn that I'm denied the sweet, sweet taste of
steak sauce, the biting aroma of elmer's glue, the piercing
sensation of alkaline battery on my tongue? ya'll bustas
know what i'm talking about and ya'll bustas know what it
is right now, but I know that it's time to drink yet
another stella artois to keep the ten or eleven of its
counterparts company in the deepest recesses of my soul...
soul caliber two, what's that all about?: Know this, I
keep it real even in this domain, and you give me a little
bit of time, a little bit of incentive and MOST IMPORTANTLY
a little bit of buuuuz (poz, bojjjj, illnana, the great
divide, the cleft that keeps men sane, the righteous path,
the "walk to remember" [I rather like that one], the jungle
juicemeister [RARRR, look at my insanely bushy white
eyebrows!]) then I'm good to go... witness me rearing at
the bit, stamping my figurative hooves in anticipation of
that final race, the outcome providing a life of pasture
and studding beautiful mares, or a short, ignominious trip
to the glue factory. Please, Napoeleon, I'll work harder,
I swear I'll work harder. COLONIA 2.0 is a reality! Like
cinderall stories, Urban Myths sometimes do come true.
And so on and so on... but it's all for my molly mcbutter
(I want to nut her)... shhhhhhhh
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to you... Happy birsday dear chub e...
happy birsday to you<3
He's got it all... money, women, gold
chains, bootleg dvds, burberry burburry
watches, good grammer, and the hairdo
of a Corean actor. He makes all guys
feel inadequate. Whoa... didn't even
know that i can spell that word. But for
rills, he from the Este Lado... Vatos
Locos Forever Esssssse!
between me and John? Truly one could
say the type of friendship we share is
timeless, the sort of friendship one
could live and die for. In a day and
age when loyalties run thin, there is
always one brother who's always been by
my side through the pits of hell to the
euphoric highs of life. I still
remember the times when we were chubby
Korean-American adolecents growing up
in white suburbia, or in high school
when Do Jun stuttered outloud in
class, "j...j jun, d..ddong sassuh?"
after a brief visit to the restroom, or
the time when we made a pipe bomb out
of a fax paper roll and some gunpowder
and threw the homemade explosive down
the gutter and ran away as if blessed
with the feet of god. John never had
any brothers or sisters growing up,
which is why I think made our
friendship even stronger. John is the
only person that can earn the acclaim
of the "best friend" in my book.
gonna conquer the land of morning calm
(there you go bitch). So this is a shoutout to da
man wit the plan.
point. I have seen John (his real name)
through the good times and the bad. He
keeps it real by being honest to
himself, which not many people ever
do. Whether it be an alcohol induced
IM at 3AM (and he must be lone-ly), or
just a good laugh (very contagious),
you'll know it's nothing but John. So
take the time to know this man. And
ladies, please send the love my way
because John's got too much. :p
been harrowing my ass for at least 3
straight months with his incessant
clamoring about how we've been friend
since days of yore and how I now have
to pay him homage by writing him a
testimonial or something. Who is this
guy?!?
It's no wonder he can't settle down
with a girl. The problem is not that
he can't garner interest in his sexual
campaigns like he quips, but the issue
concerns which girl to select?
Sting? Matty hair? Hollywood
Hoebag? Whoever it may be, he casts
them all away to have them wander the
desert for 40 days and 40 nights. He
doesn't joke around. You should ask
this guy about it, or maybe it's best
that you didn't.
Through it all, I'm not really
surprised. Did you see the "arms of
love" on this guy? He can single
handedly knock over buildings and lay
waste to continents with a swing of
his arms. It's no wonder the girls
are always harping, "look at his ahhh-
ms. They're so beeeeeeeg!" Whenever
we go out together, it's like he's
like Nick Lechay and I'm Justin Jeffre
of 98 Degrees. Who?!? Exactly. It's
true. What would I gain in lies?
Don't get me wrong though. He's not
a player or a pimp (in the essence
that he slaps girls around and demands
their money). He's more of like a
good kid who needs a good girl. I
mean, this one time, we were on a
mission and we had 3 female bogeys on
lock flying in a V formation. Andrew
and I were taking wingman positions
and he was flying lead to intercept
their flight paths. When Andrew and I
obtained visual contact with the
bogeys, we immediately called an abort
mission due to the bogeys' immense
size and gorgon-like features. The
man still went in. It's a testimony
to this man's discipline because he
never quits a mission he sets out to
do. His self-determination and focus
is beyond comprehension. To this day,
I don't know how he got out alive.
His story is legendary and mothers
tell their little kids of John in
hopes of having a child with such
honor, strength, and loyalty as he.
So my praise of him stops here. Be
as it may that this is just a mere
chapter, or better yet a verse in the
biblical saga known as John's life, it
is an accurate telling. Although
paragraphs cannot summate what I know
about him, take this small testimonial
and memorize it. It's like the John
3:16 of this man's life.
John, I hope you're happy, bitch.
Haha.
was undercover as John's roommate and
I got a chance to live life almost
like a guy. I hear what they say and
do, and you know that their true self
comes out around the "homies". Here's
what I came to: If you want a guy that
can take care of you, treat you like
you deserve, make you happy, and keep
you laughing until your stomach hurts,
John's the one. And if you're the type
that gets butterflies in your stomach
whenever a guy does something sweet,
John will keep those butterflies there
forever. Why? He's such a great singer
and he plays the guitar really well. I
was able to benefit from all this and
my conclusion is that he should
definitely try out for American Idol.
Haha. But John's too cool and he won't
do it. This guy is willing to try new
things and he keeps his life
interesting. He's always there for his
friends and I'm glad to have met
someone like him. Take care John.
know what sayin? He takes my immigrasi
ass all ovah. Keeps it real in his own
way, know what im sayin. He always
tells me he hates me, but i know deep
down this muthafuckah has love fo me.
Big up dawg. Now write me a good
testimonial for me.