mahes

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"Lorelei: I want it gone! Gone!

Luke: I’m gettin’ it gone.

Lorelei: But this is personal. I’m physically hurting the snow as I dig at it. I’m…I’m chopping into its stupid white face with my razor sharp fingernail claws and I’m delighting in it! I want it to suffer!

Luke: You look deranged.

Lorelei: Take that! Grrrah! And that!

Luke: Why did you park it under a tree?

Lorelei: I have been parking this stupid car under this stupid tree forever!

Luke: But it’s snowing.

Lorelei: Yes, but snow was always protecting me before. It’s been a white blanket of love. We had a symbiotic thing going on.

Luke: Snow cannot protect you. Snow is frozen water falling out of the sky and as for this car and this tree you can predict it. It’s gravity. There’s four tons of snow on this tree. You park under it, gravity gonna come into play and take it out. It’s basic physics.

Lorelei: I do not need a physics lesson right now no matter how well it’s intentioned.

Luke: Sorry.

Lorelei: It’s over! Oh yes! It is over!

Luke: What is?

Lorelei: Me and snow, we’re through!

Luke: No you’re not.

Lorelei: It was years of bliss ya know? We had some good stuff and good times. I could show you pictures of the snow angels I made, but I am done! Done!

Luke: Well let it down easy, okay?

Lorelei: Oh! And I am changing my cancellation policy at the inn.

Luke: Because of snow?

Lorelei: Yes! From now on if anyone cancels for any reason that I don’t agree with within two years of the date in question. No…no make it three! Then I am not going to refund their money and kick them in the groin!

Luke: Jeez…

Lorelei: But with my left foot because my right foot is still throbbing from being frozen in icy hole water, which has effectively ended my foot modeling career.

Luke: Foot modeling is a dying art anyway.

Lorelei: I am with you now buddy. 100%

Luke: With me on what?

Lorelei: Snow is nothing but annoying icy frozen water stuff that falls out of the sky at inconvenient times. It’s Mother Nature’s icy, “Screw you Lorelei Gilmore!” It’s just stupid stuff you have to shovel out of the way so customers can get into the inn. It’s the stuff that melts and leaks through your roof. [Suddenly it begins to snow] It’s the stuff that stalls your car. It’s the stuff that buries your car. Oh no! No! Don’t even try to make up with me now! You and me are through! [Lorelei raises her hand and slaps at the snow] You stupid…I hate you!"

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"Listen Pal, if you want to talk about my brother, you'd better be very careful what you say next"