Julius Andres

i learned english from expulsion letters..

Critic Extraordinaire

Correspondents Guild Corner A.K.A Mga Chismoso sa Kanto

screaming into plastic bags, killing you, i like to kidnap midgets and sell them on ebay as pets, make barbituates out of household materials, scaring the poop out of curly haired children, hypnotize house pets, share my "nuggets of wisdom" which i extracted from my inner-self when i was meditating while smoking in the toilet room, poker, clubs, internet, shopping, smoking, reading, makin' friends and chillin' wit' those friends, drink the shit out of any alcoholic bottle and go home and then wake up in the morning without any idea how i got home, get invited at parties and club openings, whisper to myself that i shouldnt have gone to a stupid boring party where i got invited at, tell cocky people they are full of shit, pass out in the bathroom, smacking the head of someone who crossed my line, kick somebody else's arrogant cat or dog, accidentally drop my 3am burger from burger king and pick it up and carry on eating(when am drunk!..well.. even if i aint drunk..)

My alter believes that reading is for people who cannot find a date to see a movie based from a book but for me? the real me? i want a book that has a beautiful cover which i can shred dramatically, all sydney sheldon novels, HP books, GOLDILOCKS AND THE SEVEN GIANT DWARFS, PETER PANTY, SLEEPING BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, HANSEL AND REBISCO, LITTLE RED RIDING SKATEBOARD, 3 LITTLE BIRDS.

Volver, Tropic Thunder, Changeling, Australia, City of Angels, Stardust, Slumdog Millionaire, Doubt, Não Por Acaso, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, El Laberinto del Fauno, A Dona da Historia, Y tu Mama Tambien, Kings' Ransom, Scary Movie 4, Click, X-Men trilogy, The Da Vinci Code, The Omen, Ice Age 1&2, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire(best HP movie so far!), Honey, FlightPlan, Transporter2, Soul Plane, Final Fantasy VII-advent children, Shutter, Skeleton Key, the Perfect Score, the grudge, harry potter, LOTR, scary movie 1-2-3, bringing down the house, white chicks, not another teen movie, jackass, 10 things i hate about u, the sweetest thing, the blair bitch project

[REGGAETON] r&b/hiphop, bsta masarap pkinggan...like sound of thunder, howling of dogs, moaning bitches, screaming cats, screeching of the violin and some kitchenwares..

SNL, MADTv, StreetSmarts, Drawn together, Discovery Channel, sponge bob, cow&chicken, the simple life(almost all reality shows).....whatever is on tv..

Cancer

Let me just say somethin.. I am sick, and when I'm not sick, I am tired, I am sick and tired of this shit listening to people's fuckin mellow drama. And this goes out to everyone, no matter if you're a fuckin emo dogshit or just a retard who has ADHD. Lemme tell you something, you are IN whatever situation you are in right now BECAUSE of what YOU did, blame NOBODY because what you do is WHAT you are, learn how to take some fuckin' responsibility for YOURSELF and your OWN stuff. I can't stand people wanting to be the VICTIM all the time like people sayin "this person did this to me that's why I'm this way" well we all know everybody's got a fuckin mellow drama story. You should know that your Mommy and your Daddy gave you life, that's all what they were suppose to do and NO MATTER how fuckin GOOD or BAD that LIFE was, it's up to YOU to make somethin out of it!! So EMOS and its suicidal synonymous type of person, SUCK IT UP AND SHUT THE HELL UP!! Enough of the "My parents never treated me like an offspring" or "the world is against me" because each of us were GIVEN a fuckin LIFE and what you gonna do with that life is UP TO YOU! Stop being the victim!

OK EVERYONE LISTEN OR PERHAPS READ CLOSELY! THERE ARE WOMEN THAT YOU SHOULD BE LOOKIN' OUT FOR ...alright? Like any woman that overdresses like a damn slut ya don't want to be affiliated with. If you can see more cleavage than a plumber's ass, don't get involved. It's just gonna cause problems when you decide to be possessive and domineering over their life. And watch out for women who wear excessive jewelry. Ya know the fuckin type of bitch whose got like 15 fuckin types of rings on each finger? Oh, and people with name plates. Ya know how all these women have their own names on a little chain? As if they fuckin forget?? And women who have tattoos of their own names on their own bodies is just freakin stupid. I mean, are they really this fuckin stupid that they wake up in the morning and are like, "Oh my God! What's my name??" And have to look at their ass in the mirror to figure out who the fuck they are?? "Oh that's right! I'm Amy!" Gimme a fuckin break. You don't wanna deal with women who don't know who the fuck they are. Oh... Here's a good test: When you're window shopping and she drags you near a window with jewelry in it, smash her head into the window and RUN.. cause you don't wanna deal with some fuckin money hungry bitch. My only piece of advice to have a sound relationship is, LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE!! Don't be overly concerned, don't try to domineer them, don't try to control them. Let them be independent, let them do what they want. You think you people can understand that? Yeah, I know there are some reasons to be suspicious. Like if your girlfriend walks into the room with a condom on her head..then you may want to ask a few questions. But other than that ya know what? Try to trust the other individual and if doesn't work out, FUCK them and let them drop dead from some weird disease and die! You're better than that and you don't have to validate yourself through another person's life. Every individual is an island and CAN be an island. You do not need a significant other to live life. Stop seeking something that isn't there, and MOVE ON!! ok!?! SO ALRIGHT NOW YOU WOMEN, LISTEN CLOSELY. these guys you should look out for: The type of guys that drive around listening to fuckin ear shattering music. Like "sLipknot" and stupid dumbass songs like that from like the mid 90's that no one gives a shit about? Ya know how they play it really loud to try and get your attention while driving by, as if you were going to throw yourself on top of the hood of their car, and then just start pounding on the windshield like, "Oh!...I love you cause you're playing sLipknot!!" Yeah okay what the fuck ever. Ya know what you do? I say you should aim for the tires and blow those shits out so it crashes into a fuckin telephone pole. Fuck that shit. And, watch out for those guys who come over on the weekends and just sit on their fat ass and watch movies. And every 5 minutes when he says, "Hey Babe, can you get me a beer from the fridge?" Tell this fat bastard to get up and get it himself. Fuck that shit. And if he gives you that response, "Well I work all week!" Well, you know what? I'm sure most of you women out there work all week too, and have to take care of a fuckin child. It's the least he can do after you've carried a fuckin child in your stomach for 9 months. Tell him to get his own fuckin beers. These lazy fuckin bastards just piss me off. And watch out for guys that call you by pet names, more than they do your own name. And if they ever refer to you as.. "my girl" you drop that fucker like a rock. You dont need these motherfucker shits, these motherfucking bullshits dont deserve to live in this world among decent people. And I'm not preaching I'M JUST SAYIN..