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"short and soft. like a big pale pillow. and i make weird
faces sometimes. and i probably don't dislike you as much
as..."
More about Heather
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Occupation:
catering bitch, professional sleeper
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Hobbies and Interests:
love, rock and roll, boobies, vodka, bra and panties matches
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Favorite Books:
hermann hesse, milan kundera, jd salinger, anais nin, henry miller
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Favorite Movies:
annie hall, trois couleurs, winter sleepers, rushmore, bottle rocket, the royal tenenbaums, lock stock and two smoking barrels, not deep throat
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Favorite Music:
rose melberg, mirah, the blow, white lion
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Favorite TV Shows:
celebrity poker, csi: miami, family guy, space ghost, cbs sitcoms, any trashy tv
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About Me:
short and soft. like a big pale pillow. and i make weird
faces sometimes. and i probably don't dislike you as much
as it seems. that's just an all too predictable defense
mechanism. and i'm really not that emotionally unattached
either. underneath it i'm all squishy and sweet and i dote
over everything.
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Who I Want to Meet:
anyone who likes gratuitous ass and/or tit shots. anyone
who wants to DO IT in the back of a '79 volvo. anyone who
can hook me up with a diamond encrusted jesus-on-a-cross
money clip. anyone who bakes to relieve stress. anyone
whose voice raises an octave (or two or three) when they
get drunk.
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Heather |
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See results for Heather Schmidt
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creator of Hortense, daughter of
Steiskal, and apple of my eye. She
takes on many different roles in this
life, but performs each of them with
grace, beauty and a pineapple-vodka-
sprite in hand.
mine. This must count for something.
Do you hear me?! _something_
Also, she makes drinks that are really
strong, so you've been warned. If you
don't listen, you want whatever it is
you get.
not made out with at least once. She
is near top of list.
birthmark shaped exactly like Kool-Aid
Man. I can neither confirm nor deny this.
in its handbasket, Heather will gaze out
from her porch, pick up one of her cats
and go back inside. Unless she doesn't
have a porch. I mean then she could
look out a window or something I guess
but... Okay this testimonial isn't going
very well.
so great to have around, and can hang
and dance with the best of them -
especially when there's enough gay
guys and Smirnoff Ice around. And her
love for naming inanimate objects
knows no bounds.
bunch of scraps laying around a
certain cafe and turn them into a
thought-provoking, brilliant piece of
art. and don't even get me started on
her quesadillas, which i crave right
now just writing about them. she's
pretty, polite, petite, and pierced;
go ahead, i dare you to resist her
charming ways.
also about as swell as they come, a
truly fearless adventurer in the not
quite urban or suburban jungle that is
champaign-urbana. oh, and she feels
herself gravitating towards the coast,
which i can completely relate to.
heather also discusses vibrators with
impunity, to great effect. point?
HEATHRAWR IS THE BESTEST. end rant.
is a curse. Beware her cuteness.
in New Jersey. Weeks! In NJ only the
strong survive, and Heather is a tough
chick with an Evil Knievel sleeping
style. Get to know her!