Jake and I gassed the maternity ward of
Harborview last week with mind-erasing
sleeping gas (TOP SECRET formula! Don't
ask us what chemical compound is,
dammit, we don't want to have to kill
any more people over this.) Then we
switched around all of the babies
regardless of their race or gender so
that when the all of the new mothers
came to, they had a little surprise
waiting for them! I'm not sure what was
funnier, the sight of twenty-five or so
passed out babies, the subsequent
firing of the entire maternity ward
staff, or the many, many divorces and
slaps across the innocent, confused
faces of the "lying, cheating, bitch"
wives we caused. Isn't it awesome what
a little creative energy and a sense of
humor can do? You can really effect
change in the world.
I secretly hope he has a new bike
accident every time I see him so I
have an excuse to say, "Why don't you
pull down your pants and let Lucky
Marge take a gander?"
This is an excerpt from one of the
early emails from Jake before I met
him. Precluding the message below, he
asked me if I was really a graphic
designer. When the answer was "yes"
and that I didn't make it up, this was
his response:
"I tried to break into that racket, but
it's a tough nut to crack. It's
probably easier if you have 'talent'
and 'determination'.
I tried dentistry, too, but no one
would accept my crayola degree and
people were intimidated by the FUCK
PLAQ tattoos on my knuckles."
After a response like that, how could
you not want to meet this guy in
person? (I'm glad I did)
Okay- the robot story- it's sorta
true. I found jake short circuting
alright but it was my own duct tape
that really did the trick- i am the
female MacGyver. the other part jake
left out was he was disquised as a sexy
secret agent from the 1950's at this
party. it worked- he had all the ladies.
thats my old kitten in jakes mouth there (she
mysteriously dissapeared shortly after this
picture was taken). jakes my favorite
professional kitty swallower, and all around
crazy guy. i wish we could be on the same
coast for once but alas, we are meant to be
bicoastal. any closer proximity would result in
a a "beware of destruction" sign that we would
both have to hang around our necks.
jake let me and my friends ben and
jacie stay at the pink house just about
a week ago. ben and jacie loved jake,
like LOVED him, it's actually kinda
sick. jake and i had a dance off at
the scene creamers show with some e-
tards. jake's interpretive sea monster
dance won us the prize. thanks jake,
whata teammate!
I like Jake. He's really cute. I want
to touch his swimsuit area, but he
already knows that. Actually I want to
do more to his swimsuit area than touch
it, but he already knows that too.
Harborview last week with mind-erasing
sleeping gas (TOP SECRET formula! Don't
ask us what chemical compound is,
dammit, we don't want to have to kill
any more people over this.) Then we
switched around all of the babies
regardless of their race or gender so
that when the all of the new mothers
came to, they had a little surprise
waiting for them! I'm not sure what was
funnier, the sight of twenty-five or so
passed out babies, the subsequent
firing of the entire maternity ward
staff, or the many, many divorces and
slaps across the innocent, confused
faces of the "lying, cheating, bitch"
wives we caused. Isn't it awesome what
a little creative energy and a sense of
humor can do? You can really effect
change in the world.
accident every time I see him so I
have an excuse to say, "Why don't you
pull down your pants and let Lucky
Marge take a gander?"
early emails from Jake before I met
him. Precluding the message below, he
asked me if I was really a graphic
designer. When the answer was "yes"
and that I didn't make it up, this was
his response:
"I tried to break into that racket, but
it's a tough nut to crack. It's
probably easier if you have 'talent'
and 'determination'.
I tried dentistry, too, but no one
would accept my crayola degree and
people were intimidated by the FUCK
PLAQ tattoos on my knuckles."
After a response like that, how could
you not want to meet this guy in
person? (I'm glad I did)
true. I found jake short circuting
alright but it was my own duct tape
that really did the trick- i am the
female MacGyver. the other part jake
left out was he was disquised as a sexy
secret agent from the 1950's at this
party. it worked- he had all the ladies.
jakes mouth make me happy.
mysteriously dissapeared shortly after this
picture was taken). jakes my favorite
professional kitty swallower, and all around
crazy guy. i wish we could be on the same
coast for once but alas, we are meant to be
bicoastal. any closer proximity would result in
a a "beware of destruction" sign that we would
both have to hang around our necks.
jacie stay at the pink house just about
a week ago. ben and jacie loved jake,
like LOVED him, it's actually kinda
sick. jake and i had a dance off at
the scene creamers show with some e-
tards. jake's interpretive sea monster
dance won us the prize. thanks jake,
whata teammate!
to touch his swimsuit area, but he
already knows that. Actually I want to
do more to his swimsuit area than touch
it, but he already knows that too.