• Matthew Shultz

      "I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. I've got whosits and whatsits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty. But..."

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    • Testimonials and Comments for Matthew

      • Angenette
      • Posted
      • My friends and I spied Matt in full
        camoflauge running through an
        obstacle course in his backyard
        with "Mission Impossible" as
        background music. Nice jeans kid!
      • Robin
      • Posted
      • This guy has so many testimonials! I
        guess that means he has a lot of caring
        and thoughtful friends. If I were one
        of them I'd leave a testimonial too.
        D'OH! I've been duped by his good
        looks. Oh well. Matt is A#1
      • Grant
      • Posted
      • This socialist pinko commie bastard
        draws good.
      • Wendy
      • Posted
      • I've had activities with Matthew.
        Testify!
      • Laura
      • Posted
      • Matthew, you say some really gross
        things. I speak for your mother.
      • Jason
      • Posted
      • We knew that Matthew was a traitor - he
        had admitted as much to me in September
        the previous year when he tried to
        persuade me that communism was our real
        enemy, not Germany. I wish I had shot
        him then and I would have done so had
        there not been two women in the room at
        the time.
      • Lauren
      • Posted
      • What can I say about Matthew? If he
        hadn't lent Dave Bug his bike
        messenger gear for the Guy Fawkes Day
        Party, I wouldn't be dating Dave
        today. There's just something about a
        man who has reflective clothing on
        that really catches a girl's eye, ya
        know.
      • Charles
      • Posted
      • I didn't have a crush on Matthew in
        high school, though I did get beaten up
        by a Matthew once I think.

        I may never beat him in Scrabble.

        I will for certain never beat him in a
        bicycle race.

        He is a generous soul and a breviate
        wit.

        Grant him this: Dude can draw. He's
        like a modern Monet.

        He's a man's man and an artist's drawer.
      • Jon
      • Posted
      • As Matthew's powers have grown, so has
        his wisdom. Do not covet Matthew's
        awesome gifts, for they weigh heavily
        upon him. Simply be thankful they've
        been granted to one capable of bearing
        them nobly and wielding them justly.
      • Amy
      • Posted
      • What's up with all this "Matthew"
        crap? What happenned to the "Matt"
        that I had a crush on in high school
        but wouldn't give me the time of day...
        I think he just doesn't like fast
        girls... ;)
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