|
|
"I've never been good at describing myself, I either come
off as too shy or too arrogant. Don't you hate that?"
More about David
|
-
Schools (Other):
Millburn High School (2003)
-
College/University:
Northwestern University, Attended 2003 - Present, Class of 2007, Bachelor's Degree, History
-
Occupation:
student
-
Hobbies and Interests:
sports, politics, movies, ..... all sorts of crap
-
Favorite Books:
The Hitchhijer's Guide to the Galaxy, Catch-22, Shakespeare
-
Favorite Movies:
The Big Lebowski, Kevin Smith movies, the Coen Brothers
-
Favorite Music:
Most everything but country and gangsta rap
-
Favorite TV Shows:
The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Adult Swim
-
About Me:
I've never been good at describing myself, I either come
off as too shy or too arrogant. Don't you hate that?
-
Who I Want to Meet:
...
|
 |
How you're connected:
| You |
 |
David is in your extended network |
|
David |
|
know you will reject this testimonial,
i can say it allll i want, cause i
goto state school. youre a fag, you
talk alot, and northwestern sucks
(aside note to everyone else, dave
dont read this: since i said i know
he'll reject it, he'll HAVE to accept
it! brilliant! ) kato, be gay
responsibly
Evil Dave on PWild, I wanted to punch
him in the junk every time he talked.
But what can I say, the little guy
grows on you! He's one of my best
friends at Northwestern and a reliable
source of FUN. Now I only want to punch
him in the junk every once in awhile.
lot and we were all having fun but i
cant remember what exactly dave was
talking about. something about chalk
on his car i think. he does that a lot.
i think.
therefore he rejects me. you're
totally like the shaq of friendster.
got a blowjob. i'm pretty sure that
warrants a rabbi's license...
don't know about trades, though he's
Jewish, so he has to be good at it.
Whether he's Kato, The K-Train,
Special K (and he's earned EVERY letter
in 'special', trust me!), The Last Mets
Fan, That Kid Who Used to Be Fat, or -
,as most of us know him, -The
Hurricane, David Kalan is a guy you
can't help but love...in
a...special...sort of way. He's the
kind of guy you'd hope to show up at
your wedding...and not open his mouth.
His dizzying intellect and raging fury
are not just legend in Jersey; he has
his own mountain in southern Minnesota:
Mount Kato. LeBron may stand tall on
the court, but he falls short in the
shadowy fires of Mount Kato. Mount
Kato, I have heard in some fables, is
similar to Mt. Doon in the Lord of the
Rings stories in that The K-Train will
only be free of his own shackles when
he climbs the mountain and casts his
Mets hat and his hardcover, first
print, signed-edition of Seabiscuit
into the firey pit that lies at the
summit. Still, he can find his way
around Penn Station, which to a Mile-
High-Hick is a feat of strength worthy
of your own parade, and his heart is
almost as big as his stomach used to be
(I said 'used to be,' David, don't grow
another vein in your forehead). The K-
Train navigates the Jersey turnpikes
with the ease of someone from Jersey,
and I remember him being the most
generous cell-phone lender at Fairview
Lake. I remember the pancake slaps, and
the shrill "Teddy!" that one could hear
penetrating (God, I love that word) the
crisp morning air just around breakfast
time. I felt bad for him because he
always got stuck with the worst co-
counselors and obnoxious kids, though
when I suggested he better his luck and
improve the fung-shei of his cabin, he
looked as if he wanted to hit me. David
knows good tv, like Futurama, which is
a futuristic version of the Simpsons
because it's well overdue to be
cancelled. Dave can follow European
soccer like a...European and one time I
saw him drink a beer. There are rumors
that he owns an online porn-empire, and
some even claim he started 'Girls Gone
Wild.' But I go to sleep at night
knowing that whatever bowl 'Special K'
shows up in, and whatever small-country
he ends up owning, he'll always be my
Kato.