Dating Women, Relationship with Women, Friends

Dec 2003

Irvine, CA + Orcutt, Laguna Beach, Costa Mesa

http://profiles.friendster.com/4448416

Cognitive Artist 30% - Freelance Software Dev 60%

speculative epistemology, paella, software as art, evolutionary computation, bunnies, code, poetry, process syntax (interaction) of evolution and intentional (design) generative processes, kayaking in the rain, great friends, firepits, sexy love, wonder

Dreamtigers, Clans of the Alphane Moon, Girls Lean Back Everywhere, How to Break out of Prison, Information Arts, Meditations, Rats Lice and History, Invisible Cities, Steps to an Ecology of Mind, Literary Machines, The Blue Book

Joan of Arc of Mongolia, Scenes from the Second Floor, Amelie, Black Cat White Cat, All About My Mother, My Life as McDull, Killer Condom, Tamala 2010

Varttina, Fruko, Beth Orton, Ivor Cutler, Kathleen Edwards, RL Burnside, Roches, Marta Sebesteyen, Molotov, Skip James, Nick Drake, Swans, Elliot Smith, Victoria Williams, Stereolab, Nico, Bach Cello Suites & 6, Larry Harlow, Jim Carroll, Gram Parsons

Mystery, Uncommon Knowledge, ThinkTank, Six Feet Under, Nova, Charlie Rose, Simpsons, Monday Night Football, everything Dennis Potter's ever done

I'm happy. Kind. Shameless. Kinda smart. Not a Geek,
more of a Dweeb. Missing a front tooth instead of
piercings and tattoos. Real patient. I like beautiful:
spaces, homes, enclaves in the outdoors, deserts, ideas.
Not motivated by money, which can be good and bad. Um,
careful with people, which can be good and bad. Poetic in
calm ease, happy listening to really, really loud music.

I'm slowly looking for for a bright earthypunky woman and a
happy, frolicsome, interesting, lovin' relationship.
Hasn't been a priority, busy thinkin', but changing that
thus:

- people who like to think and talk at the same time -
women who like to spend time doing pretty much nothing
sometimes - one woman to live with and love - people to go
out and eat with, especially breakfast - people to kayak
with in Tomales Bay - I delight spending
languorous time looking into eyes which are so blue as to
appear to emit light, watching the curves of admired
eyeballs spin through their matched trajectories, following
the ascension of my pleasure in my smiling unaware.

- I prefer a woman in tension, like a suspension bridge,
the various parabolic arches, the resolution of forces
played out in curves responding to gravity, wide lanes, the
bed.

- I want someone who's good at shopping for lightbulbs
together at large home improvement centers, who shares a
similar delight at subverting consumer hardware purchases,
fondling ducting and conduit, veneer and pet doors.

- I enjoy those women who taste like wild strawberries, and
know it.

- I desire laughter in a lover, a ticklish sense, some
resonating appreciation in the curve of her belly,
softness, little light hairs near the belly button, dimples
above the hips, a warm tan.

- I hope to find a woman's inner image of a man, larger
than myself, something I discover as an enthusiasm of
undiscovered possibilities of being.

- I seek an essential fierceness, a quality of spirit, a
snigger, a frizzle, a snort.

- I cherish attraction to she who has soft pajamas and
never wears them, who has the means to sit topless in bed
and read for hours, taking kiss breaks.
- I admire someone I adore, someone I look up to, someone I
cherish, someone I give to spontaneously.
- I want a woman who creates her own realities, demandingly
intelligent in bed, poetic to tears behind the steering
wheels of large vehicles. I want a woman who shapes her
mood with her hands, who remembers with laughter, forgets
with true style and grace. I want a woman who describes
herself as beautiful, loving, and kind, and I will agree
with her.

Of course, these are not the same women. The first, her
name will be Cindy, or some Celtic variant. When we talk
curves, we are reminded of her. She works for an earth-
moving company, somewhere in the East, the direction of
beginnings and less expensive gas. My needs, my smoking
desires, the slight roundness of my belly will compare
fondly with her interests in children, spreading kindness
like wet paint, riding in cars which have no roof toward
the vast and soulful desert.

Next, Laura. Oh and Laura, is a face in the misty light,
footsteps that you hear down the hall. Her and her friends,
Laurie, Lauren, Lori, Laurel, and Lara hound me every
dogged step I take dragging my well-rounded ass into the
digitally-metered future. And yet I still want her. Does
she really forget with style, an ease which falls to the
ground like tumblers of a busboy's heaped tray? Naw, she's
a totally vindictive bitch. At least it was a nice fantasy
which we can entertain from afar with our competent
telescopes and smart binoculars. Why do I take such
punishment? Even want it again in those vain hopes of
reconnection, that passionate obsession we promise and
deliver to each other by sensory infatuation, my rough-hewn
scent, her milky-tasting teeth, soft, cushioning breasts,
glide path, tumescence, entanglement of arms.

I will agree with almost anything this third woman
describes herself. Why should I not? She has that kind of
innate knowledge which, at the base, generally agrees with
the world, feeling that what is is right. She can help me
easily and can be helped likewise. These roles have been
set for ages.

Why do I find the criminal stupidity of television
insulting? Where do children come from? If I ask, she will
also know these answers and can show me in ways that I
understand. It's almost amazing that I can accept this
woman, as she has an understanding of me which include
those things I don't accept about myself.

I don't know her name, not the color of her eyes, the
shape, the curving slope between the sides of her nose and
the beginnings of her cheekbones, her corrugation of the
palms of her hands. And I am content not to know, not to
understand, as allowing a lack of understanding is as
important to true knowledge as patience, and large slow
envelopments of time. I want to have that embrace which
creates realities together, tossing worlds into the
daylight.

I gather passion for a genius of warmth, softness, a giant
of sleep, mutual brilliance of waking up, blinking, and
dreams. And yes, the ballet of traffic, flipping off
drivers who learned how to drive by correspondence course,
laughing in the face of a sunset on a congested heart of
highway, miles from home. I want to shape mind and body
with hands, bottles, vegetables, and algebra, hook emotions
with the playful certainty of everyday life and pull. I
want memories together with tears, joy, mourning, and
passion. Perhaps we can both forget with true style and
grace. We will experience each other as beautiful, loving,
and kind, and we will agree with each other.