Audris is kind enough to listen to my
drunken late night rantings and stopped
me from committing some questionable
acts. So far, she has 1) talked me out
of threatening the pope 2) convinced me
that I hadn't actually swallowed a
gecko 3) stopped me from snorting a
line of fire ants. I owe her big
time. Thanks Audris, a giant Toblerone
is on its way to you.
Shiny hair, Jerry Seinfeld-sized teeth
and an infectious smile (or was that an
infectious itch?), Audris routinely has
men begging for her hand in marriage.
They also beg for spare change, but
that's another story. After having one
of the best crabbing days of my life
with her, I'll always think of crabs
when I think of Audris. Maybe that's
where the infectious itch comes from...
Anyhoo, she's a saint among sinners, a
virgin among whores, and willing to
give friends the shirt off her back --
or at least the New Year's Eve tiara
off her head. I can't wait to visit her
at Columbia and do handstand beer bongs
with her. *Burp!*
Curses! Who is going to calculate our
resteraunt bill when this woman moves
east? She's good with numbers
(especially the numbers 2 and 7), and
also good with the livestock. What a
versatile wench. Columbia gains
another ambitious young lady, and the
Bay Area loses its finest practitioner
of the ancient Afghani art of goat
grabbing (buzkashi).
I love Audris! The only thing wrong
with her is that she's leaving us to
move back to NYC. Oh, and her weird
love of spiders. Oh yeah, and the fact
that she refuses to acknowledge that
the Audris from Australia really
exists.
Testimonials and Comments for Audris
idea where I'd be without her. If it
weren't for her, I'd probably still be
with Gwyneth...
(dominate, delicious, devine) ...
welcome back ... making it more fun
(and funnier) for all of us
drunken late night rantings and stopped
me from committing some questionable
acts. So far, she has 1) talked me out
of threatening the pope 2) convinced me
that I hadn't actually swallowed a
gecko 3) stopped me from snorting a
line of fire ants. I owe her big
time. Thanks Audris, a giant Toblerone
is on its way to you.
and an infectious smile (or was that an
infectious itch?), Audris routinely has
men begging for her hand in marriage.
They also beg for spare change, but
that's another story. After having one
of the best crabbing days of my life
with her, I'll always think of crabs
when I think of Audris. Maybe that's
where the infectious itch comes from...
Anyhoo, she's a saint among sinners, a
virgin among whores, and willing to
give friends the shirt off her back --
or at least the New Year's Eve tiara
off her head. I can't wait to visit her
at Columbia and do handstand beer bongs
with her. *Burp!*
resteraunt bill when this woman moves
east? She's good with numbers
(especially the numbers 2 and 7), and
also good with the livestock. What a
versatile wench. Columbia gains
another ambitious young lady, and the
Bay Area loses its finest practitioner
of the ancient Afghani art of goat
grabbing (buzkashi).
with her is that she's leaving us to
move back to NYC. Oh, and her weird
love of spiders. Oh yeah, and the fact
that she refuses to acknowledge that
the Audris from Australia really
exists.