Joey Gartner

      Heisman Finalists

      "5'8" graduate of the University of Michigan, majored in Sports Management and Communications; brown hair and brown eyes that..."

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      Testimonials and Comments for Joey

      • Alison
      • Posted
      • So Joey wrote me a testimonial that I quickly had to delete, because it caused me lots of problems. That's why I love him. For nine years he's added that extra spice into my life. We've gone from the back country of Sun Valley Idaho to the dance floor at Branch. Sometimes, when there isn't a game on (or he doesn't have to prepare for tomorrow's game), he'll come out to see me when I'm in NY.
        Joey, you rock, I'm looking forward to nine more years of spice, and the O's will always be cooler than the Yankees.
      • Stephen
      • Posted
      • I had a great teacher that I just keep on learning from. Kid knows how to roll and doesnt mind tossing a student a few bones to keep up his skills. 30+ club kiiiid. Big pimpin NYC
      • Randy Hunglow
      • Posted
      • 5'8 my ass.
      • Aria
      • Posted
      • Dude, Kelly Clarkson is NOT HOT!!!!
      • Randy Hunglow
      • Posted
      • Joey steals things. Incessantly. That's
        why that Korean lady follows him all
        around Han's Deli whenever we head
        over to grab a couple of Zima's or Mike's
        Hard Lemonade's. It really is quite
        annoying. Things usually go as
        follows: "Joey, we're paying this time,
        okay?" "No, I'm broke, the olympic
        committee pays me in previously
        enjoyed porn and dated issues of
        Entertainment Weekly." "Shit, All right,
        let's get this over with." As I reflect on
        the golden days when were able to sell
        the Village Voice to the retarded kids on
        97th street for a dollar a pop, I enter.
        Then things go as follows: I walk in,
        drops his pants, pull my eyes into slits
        while jumping up and down and
        screaming, "rice sucks!" If we're lucky,
        Joey can get a couple of bottles into his
        knapsack and book while Ms. Han goes
        round back to gather her machete. If
        not . . . well, blow me and find out.
      • Robyn
      • Posted
      • Joey always has a way of looking out
        for you, which is one of his best
        qualities....too bad he called the wrong
        shot on this one! Just kidding. I still love
        you, my favorite OX boy. Hopefully I'll
        get to make out with you....I mean, see
        you soon in NY if I move out there for a
        job!
      • Randy Hunglow
      • Posted
      • Why do all the girls you hang out with look like
        they're fifteen? Not that I'm complaining, but it is a
        bit odd, isn't it? Very Japanese pedophelia. Well,
        I've done a bit of snooping around and, guess
        what? My sources and I have discovered that
        they actually are fifteen, well, well. Tsk, tsk. Well, I
        guess it ain't a crime if you don't get caught, so
        just, please, PLEASE be careful, I'm begging you.
        It would be truly humiliating in the most vile
        fashion to see a childhood friend, a man with
        whom I've shared countless playdates, hours in
        front of a Super Nintendo, Miller Lites, window
        bombing and attempted double-teams become
        the next R. Kelly. You don't want to go down that
        road Joey, you really don't. But, if you do . . .
        please do tape it and send me a copy. It'll be just
        like The Ring, except we won't die.

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