Matthew Ayres

High Point Regional H S, Attended 1994 - 1998, Class of 1998

national university of ireland galway, bard college, high point regional

Bard College, Attended 1998 - 2002, Class of 2002, Bachelor's Degree, english/ irish studies

english professor/bad news bear/flaneur

I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.

proving that the glory really is in the story, causing a scene/getting kicked out, jameson, roadhouse karaoke and trash dodging, getting awesome, watching people fall, watching the red sox lose, dancing like jarvis cocker, afternoon tea, shirts with french cuffs, checking me out on ratemyprofessor.com, pet sounds.

finnegans wake, ulysses, in search of lost time, tansi, gerard de nerval, bruno schultz, justine, the little prince, italo svevo, david sedaris, franny and zooey, john keats, dylan thomas, w.b. yeats, oscar wilde, walter pater, zizek, lolita, the brightest ring of angels around heaven, dante, lacan.

garden state, 8 1/2, la dolce vita, guilietta degli spiriti, blow-up, a hard day's night, vertigo, connery bond movies, the royal tenenbaums, rushmore, bottle rocket, wonder boys(duh), the big lebowski, high fidelity, billy madison, happy gilmore, tommy boy, die hard, kill bill, pulp fiction, resevoir dogs, the godfather, scarface, quadrophenia, 28 days later, old school, ghost dog, elf, bogart movies

the beatles, g.harrison, my bloody valentine, guided by voices, rilo kiley, the roots, the Velvet Underground, the zombies, love, beach boys, big star, black star, mos def, talib kweli, the kinks, kylie, elliott smith, sloan, wilco, fountains of wayne, yo la tengo, jeff buckley, radiohead, otis redding, neutral milk hotel +E6, reindeer section, the shins, the wu-tang clan, sinatra, kanye west, roxy music, sondre lerche, stevie wonder, pulp, ben davis, gsybe, asmz, bonnie prince billy, johnny cash, john coltrane, eric dolphy, thelonious monk, miles, mingus, my own, i've been on a dylan ('62-66, 1975, specifically) kick recently

the adventures of pete and pete, sea lab 2021, the simpsons, the family guy, the powerpuff girls, ali g, the oc, six feet under, kids in the hall, two guys and a girl, law and order:svu, eastenders, only fools and horses, father ted, the chappelle show i really got into prison break, i don't know why

Aquarius

a younger version of michael douglas in "wonder boys" mixed with a bit of zach braff from "garden state" and a spritzing of marcello from "la dolce vita" and more than a dash or two of john cusack from "high fidelity." shake and serve chilled.

i get excited about the fact that i will teach eliot's "love song of j.alfred prufrock" soon. that should indicate that there is something wrong with me.i'm a half step away from blazers with suede elbow patches and looks chock full of consternation. for now, i will make fun of this person...till i become him and lose my sense of humour entirely. have mercy on my soul.

late nights playing roxy music's country life and pulp's
this is hardcore, with my very dear friends mademoiselle
ennui and john jameson and sons and trying to get the
mermaid tattoo on my arm to dance like little pete's girly
tattoo from the adventures of pete and pete.

i do a wicked interpretation of a guest on the jenny jones show as they enter the runway leading up to the stage.

books pile about my room, looking gloomy and half read, they're everywhere, you would have to fight through stacks of them to get to me.

i say "fuck" more than i should. i've made it an artform, i'll slip it in the middle of words when you least expect it. i have the habit of swearing around nuns and babies. i tend to get lee trevino-from-happy gilmore-type looks from people. sorry about the swearing.

i think it's odd that most of george harrison's love songs are written to god and all of jay spaceman's are to drugs. and they're all gorgeous.

people who want to play wiffle ball. spoiled priests,
fallen nuns, or at least people who like "father ted."
people who like to buy me drinks. people to play tricks on and or
play tricks with. other professional trouble makers(ie
charlatans, libertines, loose women and pickpockets).
one of the members
of slant 6. people who like to talk about the genius of brain
wilson/james joyce. fellow nerds and dorks. jarvis cocker. jenny lewis. audrey tautou. mr. littlejeans. someone who has a good remedy for insomnia.
and, especially, you. anyone new, the jerz is kind of boring these days.