Matt Yeager

      photo: www.lesliehassler.com

      "Not using stupid Friendster anymore. Find me on myspace (www.myspace.com/yeag3r) or Facebook."

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      • Olive
      • Posted
      • webcamwhoretj5.jpg
      • Olive
      • Posted
      • webcamwhoretj5.jpg
      • Honi
      • Posted
      • Matt is a funny fashion guru (see above tie). That is to say, he is funny, and fashionable, or perhaps he is a guru of humorous fashions. Maybe you better not read too much into it.
      • Jd
      • Posted
      • Dear Diary,

        Hi, it's me, Matt Y again. Things have been really fucked since I got back from Iraq. My hand is trembling as I write this, I've been so afraid to put down what's been going on, as if by writing it I acknowedge its truth and call forth the hot dog circus demons by name, assuring their existance. But I need to start the long road back to some kind of normal existance, step by step, and hopefully this is the beginning of that path back, and not a digression into an inevitable circus hotdog fed chaos.

        We were about 10 Klicks from Bagdhad when the shit went down, a bunch of bright lights, Frankie thought they were flares, but we found out later it was a chemical attack. Retardo-ass-suck-Circus-gas, Al-Queda calls it, specifically designed to make you start acting like a mentally retarded carnie hot-dog stand attendant at a travelling circus.

        Most of the boys got just a whiff, and started mumbling about gettin' yer fresh made weiners, but one of the cannisters, it bopped righ
      • Culley
      • Posted
      • Matt is one hell of an upstanding
        individual. Though he fashions himself
        a uber-rational technocrat, he is a
        humanist with a soft heart beneath his
        Objectivist venier. He's got style and
        a great smile. And he's a fucking idiot.
      • Ingrid
      • Posted
      • I'd like to retract my previous
        statement that Matt is made entirely
        of cheese. He is, in fact, comprised
        entirely of candy (Pez to be
        precise). I apologize for any
        confusion.
      • Sean
      • Posted
      • I can only say two things about Matt
        he is the "Bees' Knee's"
      • Jd
      • Posted
      • AUGUST 27--You would be hard-pressed to
        find a more disturbing picture of a
        mother gone wild than the below
        criminal complaint filed this month
        against Matthew Yeager, a 26-year-old
        Pennsylvania woman. Seems that a drunk
        and drugged-up Yeager tried to throw
        his teenage son a lewd birthday party
        at a local hotel, where he offered the
        boy and some of the teen's friends beer
        and drugs, tried to perform a
        striptease, and asked to be spanked.
        Johnson allegedly exposed himself at
        one point, licked the faces of some
        boys, and, according to the
        teens, "kept trying to touch them in
        their pants." Johnson has been charged
        with an assortment of crimes, including
        indecent exposure, corruption of
        minors, and reckless endangerment

        NOVEMBER 4--Meet Matthew Yeager. This
        26-year-old Louisiana man may be the
        country's oldest pot dealer. According
        to New Orleans police, Yeager was
        selling drugs out of her Crescent City
        home when they raided the place
        yesterday, seizing about 200 joints,
        two ounces of marijuana, and two guns,
        one of which was stolen. The
        septuagenarian was booked into the
        Orleans Parish Jail pending a bond
        hearing.
        ---------------------------------
        OCTOBER 27--Five years into a life
        sentence, Matt Yeager is proving to be
        a model prisoner at the
        country's "supermax" federal
        penitentiary. He keeps a tidy cell, has
        a clean conduct record, and maintains
        a "positive rapport" with staff.

        But the Yeager's stay behind bars is
        not without its frustrations, including
        noisy neighbors, commissary miscues,
        and mail problems galore for a man who
        once relied on the U.S. Postal Service
        to deliver his deadly packages.

        Bureau of Prisons documents obtained by
        The Smoking Gun offer the first glimpse
        at Kaczynski's life in the federal
        lockup in Florence, Colorado, where his
        fellow inmates include shoe bomber
        Richard Reid, Latin Kings boss Luis
        Felipe, and terrorists like Ramzi
        Yousef and Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman.
        MATT YEAGER's routine is filled with
        the kind of banalities that leave a guy
        obsessing about the small things, from
        a balky faucet to getting shorted eight
        ounces of milk.

        Matt is also vexed by Florence's mail
        system, which never seems to pick up
        his outgoing parcels in a timely
        fashion, loses mail addressed to him,
        and delivers items meant for other
        prisoners. At the conclusion of one
        four-page memo to Florence's warden,
        MATT YEAGER helpfully included a neatly
        rendered drawing showing how inmates
        are supposed to leave items for
        mailroom staff (see image above).

        ---------------------

      • Walter
      • Posted
      • I drove to cali with this kid in '96.
        Couldn't ask to be stuck in a car for
        3000 miles with anyone better. He's
        got an incredible sense of humor. I'm
        particularly drawn to the spastic way
        in which his mind works. He's a mean
        drunk and makes one hell of wax mold
        hand candle. (it'll be alright buddy,
        it'll be alright)
      • Jd
      • Posted
      • I met Matt through an underground
        experimental theater group he was
        mostly in charge of at Penn State
        University. I was struck by the genius
        of both his writing and acting. Not
        only have I met some of the most
        intersting characters that have ever
        walked across the stage of my life
        through matt, I have had the pleasure
        of introducing him to some of the
        weirdest he's known. I can honestly say
        that Matt Yaeger has been a positive
        force at every turn I've encountered
        him, whatever the play.

        Also, his harp playing is world class.

        Also, he speaks for the ineffable bugs.

        He also knows their unknowable ways. If
        you're not sure what I mean, ask him.
        He knows.

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