Ashwindh Devan

You're cheap. Why spend money when you can save it? Why buy clothes and toys, when you can swim in your large cash reserves? You're the one that always has money, because you refuse to spend it.

You do the things you're not supposed to do, not because you're a bad person, but because you don't like rules. You are your own person, and have no time for people who don't respect that.

You're no moron; you're a smart cookie. You read, and write, and do all of that other smart stuff. You probably have an extensive library of tomes, and you probably have cool looking spectacles.

You will have lots of money. Having lots of money will allow you to buy pretty things, and socialize with pretty people. Maybe all the cash will even bring you happiness?

Devils are not good people. Devils are bad people! That's cool. Good people aren't much fun. It's the devils that always have a good idea for a party or a late night adventure. More power to you!

Nobody knows who invited you to the party, or if you even were invited. But, you are here now, and you are drinking the beer, trying to hook up with someone, and generally being sketchy. We have to respect you for being that guy.

You're the bomb! You're so hot. You're on fire! (or soon will be, when you explode and stuff). You're crazy, a little violent, and a lot of fun. You're wild.

You are a rascal, and a social deviant. You are happiest when you're causing trouble, and pissing off the authorities. A cherry bomb down the toilet or tagging your name? Who knows what you are going to do next!

Your in love. It's adorable; it's almost sickening. You and your lover look at each other like you two are the only people in the world. When you two aren't together, you think of each other, and yearn for the next meeting.

You're not gay. You're just happy! Smiles, and kittens, and everything soft! That is what being happy is all about!

You aren't fat. You're sexy! Your lithe figure and devious curves are enough to drive your lovers crazy. You exercise, and you eat right. Have fun!

Your last sight will be your own air bubbles rising to a distant water surface. Morbid, I know! But also romantic! Drowning, whether in a bathtub or in the expansive ocean, is a classic way to go.