• Brently Heilbron

      Brentlyuke.jpg

      "I am your everything."

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    • Testimonials and Comments for Brently

      • Brian Torrey
      • Posted
      • at first you'd he was tender and
        generous, but when things become
        discreet you find he has the
        charmskills of a god. specifically
        Poseidon. there is no man i'd rather
        have toast with.
      • Lisa
      • Posted
      • brently once stabbed himself in the eye
        in english class. but what's even worse
        is he gave the teacher a heart attack.
      • Bonnie
      • Posted
      • Brently makes everyone he knows feel good
        about everything. When he talks to you, it's all
        hands and eyes, and everything seems so
        exciting, and then you go home and realize it was
        just laundry you were talking about, how the fuck
        did he make it seem so interesting...? He is a great
        neighbor, and a fantastic father. this is one of the
        good ones.
      • Amy
      • Posted
      • Brently is neat. Brently has big hair. Brently's
        breath smells like cat food.
      • Dawn
      • Posted
      • Brently is a very talented, insane,
        creative, man. He also seems like he is
        a fun dad but in the future will
        embarrass his teenage daughter ...a lot.
      • Leon
      • Posted
      • The cowlegs descend.

        Brent is the daddy of my god daughter :)
      • Todd
      • Posted
      • Oooh, buddy. Brently is just like 80's health
        icon Slim Goodbody, if Slim Goodbody had
        charisma and big balls. I'm serious.
        "Monkey Brent" can make a baby by waving
        a popsicle at your dress. He loves
        everybody to a fault. His relentless optimism
        is matched only by his sense of humor.
        Brently is also the 2nd best Garrison Keilor
        impersonator this side of the Danube. Look
        out for this one, homewreckers, cause
        Brently will kill you with fertility. His hot wife
        would never let me kiss her, though, even
        when she was poor and drunk.
      • Roy
      • Posted
      • Brently and I go way back to the days
        when we were strugglin' in the fast and
        furious world of Hempin'. As anyone
        worth their salt will tell you, Hempin'
        ain't easy, but Mr. Heilbron has proven
        time and time again a man passionately
        devoted and serious about his craft. I
        salute Thee, sir!!
        But seriously folks...It's always a
        blast and a pleasure to hang out and
        work with Brent, he truly is a
        wonderous pudding of joy. Much love to
        Anna and Micah Rose, too!
      • Iris
      • Posted
      • Brently is by far the kindest, most talented
        miracle of nature i know. He is all at once
        passion and insanity and love and glory.
      • Craig
      • Posted
      • Once on a bus I met a girl who was a
        dead ringer for a popular deceased
        latino singer. I had a sandwich and
        offered her half. But, I realized I
        didn't have a knife to split it with.
        Much to my suprise she unscrewed her
        hand and from a Swiss Army type arsenal
        inside a seemingly normal wrist, she
        produced a small serated knife to cut
        the sandwich. Then a huge robot picked
        up the buss and crunched it like an old
        beer can. As I blacked out, due to
        blood loss I could hear Barry White's
        voice comforting me. I woke up days
        later and realized that the Littlest
        Jew had given me an abortion! And I'm
        a boy! That's what I imagine it would
        be like in Brently's mind. Pure
        Genius. Disconcerting, but genius.
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