Biru Tsukuda

Orchard Elementary, Attended 1982 - 1990

Rhode Island School of Design, Attended 1997 - 1999, Class of 1999, Bachelor's Degree, Blacking Out

Stuff.

lemurs, meerkats, obscure smells

Nabokov and Murakami rock my balls off.

The Graduate and Sixteen Candles, preferably at the same time. Also mid-period Kurosawa, Kieslowski, and don't forget Booty Call.

the drunks across the street singing everyone's most beloved songs at the top of their longs; so much passion! That and all the necesary songs to learn and sing.

There was this Bob Ross painting show rip off that was on public access 6 years ago that featured a parrot. It was pure genius.

I am a hermit. I have cooked with powdered coffee creamer. I once refused having oral sex performed on me because
1) It was outdoors
2) It was a guy that asked
3) The guy had REALLY bad teeth
and 4) He only offered five dollars.

Despite what you may learn at a Chinese Buffet, the name that I use is indeed my real name. I am about as socially inept as they come. There are also rumors about me which I am not at liberty to discuss here.

Does this matter? Who the hell wants to meet me?