Girl, sometimes I daydream about us
being the hottest bitches at Taco Loco,
you know? We're all showin off our tan-
lines and drinking margaritas and
fuckin showin Westport who's boss. PS-
it's not accident that I just totally
referred back to Connecticut AND the
show 'Who's the Boss' which happened to
also take place there. You are not
unlike Mona, the slutty grandma...and
I'm not unlike Angela, her homely,
uptight daughter with the bad frost job
and dark roots. Well...the more I think
about it, I'm really like Jonathan- her
faggy, emo son.
Kirsten is the porn in my cornflakes. Every
time I hug her I get a twenty-second
transfusion of white-hot bad-assedness.
She's so together that she has her own
hotshot PR rep, Leona Menskirt ... I mean, who
else could pull off her mix of sincerity, smarts,
sass, and SEX, and STILL get so much work
done? More clever than should be legal. If I
had to plan some kind of fucked-up casino
heist, I'd want Malone in on the action. I love
her big toothy smile, her tattoos, her raucous
laughter, her slutty eye makeup, her big
raging heart. She is definitely crush-worthy.
The word "frothy" comes to mind ... not
because she's full of hot air and mildly spiced
... but because she's bubbled up every
conversation that I've ever had the good
fortune to share with her.
being the hottest bitches at Taco Loco,
you know? We're all showin off our tan-
lines and drinking margaritas and
fuckin showin Westport who's boss. PS-
it's not accident that I just totally
referred back to Connecticut AND the
show 'Who's the Boss' which happened to
also take place there. You are not
unlike Mona, the slutty grandma...and
I'm not unlike Angela, her homely,
uptight daughter with the bad frost job
and dark roots. Well...the more I think
about it, I'm really like Jonathan- her
faggy, emo son.
Malone the Award for Consideration to
Others.
time I hug her I get a twenty-second
transfusion of white-hot bad-assedness.
She's so together that she has her own
hotshot PR rep, Leona Menskirt ... I mean, who
else could pull off her mix of sincerity, smarts,
sass, and SEX, and STILL get so much work
done? More clever than should be legal. If I
had to plan some kind of fucked-up casino
heist, I'd want Malone in on the action. I love
her big toothy smile, her tattoos, her raucous
laughter, her slutty eye makeup, her big
raging heart. She is definitely crush-worthy.
The word "frothy" comes to mind ... not
because she's full of hot air and mildly spiced
... but because she's bubbled up every
conversation that I've ever had the good
fortune to share with her.
coolness from her pores. yet she still
retains her coolness! how can science
possibly explain this contradiction?