2006 Patent Pending Cornwall Hausingasseur
Institute of the Partially Apportioned Districts
Incorporated. Legal Notice: All Certified
Caricatures of Dunn & Bradstreet Executives
Plagiarised and Fortified With Nine Essential
Vitamins.
Last summer, me and Lisa
were "skinny sledding" in
Newfoundland and she turned to
me and said, "Daddy, where do
babies come from?" I paused,
looking off into the snow-clouded
sky and said "I don't know where
they come from, but I know where
they go to...the dumpster." She
slapped my face with a severed
otter head and then we made out.
Luckily, I had brought my tape player
and I played "Welcome to the
Jungle" six-hundred and four times
in a row. Then the eskimo that we
had been torturing broke loose from
his handcuffs and fixed us all french
toast and turkey-bacon with freshly
squeezed seal milk cappuchino.
When I woke up, my pillow was
missing and my mouth was full of
plankton. Oh well, back to the old
drawing board. Miss you mucher
every day.
I am apparently the last person in the
northern hemisphere not to have posted
a testimonial for Lisa, yet she is
still sweet enough to rip me a new a-
hole for not doing so. What words could
I possibly say about Lisa that would do
her justice? She snorts when she
laughs, she knows all the lyrics to
Major Tom by Peter Schilling, she loves
her cat so much she doesn't mind wiping
its ass, and she puts up with Ian
better than anyone I know. Furthermore,
though I have never been the recipient
of one of her right hooks, I am told
she hits harder than I do. She is cool
as a fan and sharp as razor blade.
Hanging with Lisa is like a sore dick...
can't hardly beat it.
What an absolutly beautiful creature
Lisa is! You can tell from the first
conversation you have with her what an
intelligent, sweet person she is and
you can't help but look up to her! She
composes delightful limericks also!
If you left Lisa out in the rain, she'd
melt. Nope, not 'cause she's a witch
silly, because she's made of 100% sugar.
She's the huggiest person you'll ever
know and just makes you feel loved the
minute she sees you. That's not a talent
many people have.
Ian's ugly mug for the rest of your life.
Just kidding, Ian is hot, hot, HOT!!!
Really, though, Congrats on the
Wedding!!
Institute of the Partially Apportioned Districts
Incorporated. Legal Notice: All Certified
Caricatures of Dunn & Bradstreet Executives
Plagiarised and Fortified With Nine Essential
Vitamins.
were "skinny sledding" in
Newfoundland and she turned to
me and said, "Daddy, where do
babies come from?" I paused,
looking off into the snow-clouded
sky and said "I don't know where
they come from, but I know where
they go to...the dumpster." She
slapped my face with a severed
otter head and then we made out.
Luckily, I had brought my tape player
and I played "Welcome to the
Jungle" six-hundred and four times
in a row. Then the eskimo that we
had been torturing broke loose from
his handcuffs and fixed us all french
toast and turkey-bacon with freshly
squeezed seal milk cappuchino.
When I woke up, my pillow was
missing and my mouth was full of
plankton. Oh well, back to the old
drawing board. Miss you mucher
every day.
common. here's to psychic friends!
and Lisa would make us yummy
dinners...ahhhhh....the good ole
days!!!
northern hemisphere not to have posted
a testimonial for Lisa, yet she is
still sweet enough to rip me a new a-
hole for not doing so. What words could
I possibly say about Lisa that would do
her justice? She snorts when she
laughs, she knows all the lyrics to
Major Tom by Peter Schilling, she loves
her cat so much she doesn't mind wiping
its ass, and she puts up with Ian
better than anyone I know. Furthermore,
though I have never been the recipient
of one of her right hooks, I am told
she hits harder than I do. She is cool
as a fan and sharp as razor blade.
Hanging with Lisa is like a sore dick...
can't hardly beat it.
Lisa is! You can tell from the first
conversation you have with her what an
intelligent, sweet person she is and
you can't help but look up to her! She
composes delightful limericks also!
oh well, that's my luck.
melt. Nope, not 'cause she's a witch
silly, because she's made of 100% sugar.
She's the huggiest person you'll ever
know and just makes you feel loved the
minute she sees you. That's not a talent
many people have.