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"I'll put your luggage in the car. OWW..Gee i wonder whats wrong with my shoulder. Oh that's right I was body slammed into the stage door."

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"Luke: Okay. Uh, just a couple of questions here. Uh, once you've electrocuted me and I'm dead, uh, how exactly do I get to the operating table?

Lorelai: Huh. Good question. Maybe I can position the operating table, like, right near the electric chair so I can just flop you over onto it after you die.

Luke: Okay. Let's say we work that out. Now I'm on the table, uh, you're going to cut me open with what?

Lorelai: A big rusty saw.

Luke: And then you're going to pull linked sausages out of me?

Lorelai: Real slow and creepy like.

Luke: Okay, great. Last question. Uh, what are the odds of you getting me to do a skit where you electrocute me, cut me open and pull linked sausages out of me? 'Cause I'm thinking they're right up there with Pia Zadora making a comeback."

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"As you might have guessed, Upper East Siders.
Prohibition never stood a chance against exhibition.
It's human nature to be free.
And no matter how long you try to be good, you can't keep a bad girl down."

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"Monica: You're on my team, and my team always wins!
Chandler:...AT THIS?"

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