Rachel has been in St. Louis since
Monday. Today is Tuesday. Shit, now,
it's Wednesday. This means that Rachel
and I have been apart for...let's say,
a few days. As a result, I can no
longer seek the counsel of Sidhartha.
Nor can I listen to Broken Social Scene
(though I bought the cd about 6 hours
ago, so now I can but before I
couldn't). Furthermore, I havent gotten
an erection since Monday, however this
problem was luckily just ameliorated
when I caught a glimpse of this young,
hot retal vixen. Basically, I love
Rachel Cort. I miss her. I can' wait to
see her. And, she is my nonsexual life-
partner. Though, the sex wouldn't be
that bad...at least, it's not according
to the third stall in the Willard
fourth floor boys' bathroom. Ah,
well...it's a risk I'm willing to
take...ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Rachel calls me Johnny Willard. I
think her brother coined the term but
I hear her say it a lot more. She can
drink me under the table but I know
she wouldn't mock me too much for
drinking like a girl. That sure is
nice of her. Thanks Rachel!
Hot Rachel has been nagging me to
write her a testimonial for quite some
time so I have now capitulated. What
can one say about this delightful gal
from St. Louis? When we were on pwild
she wrote, upon meeting me that I
was "a pompous asshole". This goes
right to the kindness and wonder of
this amusing lady. If you haven't
seen her marching in the St. Patrick's
Day parade, or complaining about the
food at Norris, perhaps you'll just
bump into her somewhere along campus,
and she'll make you happy. She
certainly is a spunky little gal, who
brightens up my day whenever I see
her. Usually this is because she is
completely soused at the time, and
frankly, I wouldn't have it any other
way.
In a technicolored cabinet, hidden in
the labyrinth between my heart, mind,
and soul...lies a secret that should
doff it's dark cloak. I'll describe
the naked secret for all you pubescent
boys with your hands around your
peckers--Rachel Cort is one of the
most beligerently cool (see also:
talented, witty, beautiful,
incredible) chicks the world over...I
kneel to her I-Tunes library as though
it were a black box in Mecca. Yeah--
that's Rachel Cort. An idol that
justifies idolatry. I love you, boo.
The Lord looked down on the world and
said, "Wow, they're really aren't
enough murder weapons!" Thus, he
created Rachel. She's a firecracker; a
firecracker with a heart of dynamite.
Rachel is bootleg and I love her for
it. The daughter of a butt doctor,
she doesn't really shy away from any
conversation topic. She says she
doesn't talk about butt sex at dinner,
but she'll totally do it if you make
it worth her while (talk that is).
Maybe she'd even have butt sex on the
table, who knows, that's how badass
she is (no pun intended)!
Monday. Today is Tuesday. Shit, now,
it's Wednesday. This means that Rachel
and I have been apart for...let's say,
a few days. As a result, I can no
longer seek the counsel of Sidhartha.
Nor can I listen to Broken Social Scene
(though I bought the cd about 6 hours
ago, so now I can but before I
couldn't). Furthermore, I havent gotten
an erection since Monday, however this
problem was luckily just ameliorated
when I caught a glimpse of this young,
hot retal vixen. Basically, I love
Rachel Cort. I miss her. I can' wait to
see her. And, she is my nonsexual life-
partner. Though, the sex wouldn't be
that bad...at least, it's not according
to the third stall in the Willard
fourth floor boys' bathroom. Ah,
well...it's a risk I'm willing to
take...ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
think her brother coined the term but
I hear her say it a lot more. She can
drink me under the table but I know
she wouldn't mock me too much for
drinking like a girl. That sure is
nice of her. Thanks Rachel!
write her a testimonial for quite some
time so I have now capitulated. What
can one say about this delightful gal
from St. Louis? When we were on pwild
she wrote, upon meeting me that I
was "a pompous asshole". This goes
right to the kindness and wonder of
this amusing lady. If you haven't
seen her marching in the St. Patrick's
Day parade, or complaining about the
food at Norris, perhaps you'll just
bump into her somewhere along campus,
and she'll make you happy. She
certainly is a spunky little gal, who
brightens up my day whenever I see
her. Usually this is because she is
completely soused at the time, and
frankly, I wouldn't have it any other
way.
the labyrinth between my heart, mind,
and soul...lies a secret that should
doff it's dark cloak. I'll describe
the naked secret for all you pubescent
boys with your hands around your
peckers--Rachel Cort is one of the
most beligerently cool (see also:
talented, witty, beautiful,
incredible) chicks the world over...I
kneel to her I-Tunes library as though
it were a black box in Mecca. Yeah--
that's Rachel Cort. An idol that
justifies idolatry. I love you, boo.
said, "Wow, they're really aren't
enough murder weapons!" Thus, he
created Rachel. She's a firecracker; a
firecracker with a heart of dynamite.
know! how many more times am i going
to mention this???
it. The daughter of a butt doctor,
she doesn't really shy away from any
conversation topic. She says she
doesn't talk about butt sex at dinner,
but she'll totally do it if you make
it worth her while (talk that is).
Maybe she'd even have butt sex on the
table, who knows, that's how badass
she is (no pun intended)!
likes to bone men.