Bart Calendar

Bard College

Writer

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Fucking, Facism, Gun Running, White Slavery, Herion Production/Shipping, Smoking Near Oxygen Tents, Arson, Contract Killings, Mercenary Work, Rumsfeld Black Ops, Kitten Juggling, Wet Work, Scientology Recruitment, Protection Rackets, Vaudeville

The Cold Six Thousand, American Psycho, Satanic Verses, Kissing In New York, Handmaid's Tale, White Jazz, American Tabloid, The Stand

Pulp Fiction, Citizen Kane, The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, Threesome, Pretty In Pink, St. Elmo's Fire, The Last Waltz, The Usual Suspects, The Zapruder Film, Halloween, Killing Zoe, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover, Full Metal Jacket

Sex Pistols, Metallica, Misfits, The Who, Marilyn Manson, Rolling Stones, The Band, Eagles, The Clash

Alias, Sopranos, Sex and the City, Twilight Zone, Dallas, West Wing, Letterman, Red Shoe Diaries, Simpsons

I tilt at windmills.

I was much more excited about the new Harry Potter comming
out than I will ever be about the NFL playoffs.

I never drank a microbrew.

I have been told I actually look like my pictures.

If you get drunk and puke, I'll hold your hair. And not
give you a hard time in the morning. This assumes you have
long hair. If you are bald or shaved, you are on your own.

I honestly don't give a damn what you weigh.

Marriage left me broke, but I do not intend to stay that
way!

I will never tell you that I just want to hold your hand.

I never wore plaid in the 90s.


I am secure in my masculinity and don't feel trapped or
threatened by gender or relationship roles or expectations.

I managed to create a gay porn website that pissed off
Rolling Stone magazine. Then Rolling Stone had to retract
most of their article.

I have lived in South America. Once you see that kind of
poverty up close you feel rich for the rest of your life.


I am Eurotrash writer deep down inside.


I am essentially divorced, just waiting for the papers to
clear.

My last two relationships were each six years long. I am
not a player.

I like to read, keep up on the news and usually have
something to say.

Been living in France running my own small business for
the
past couple of years.

I was born on Valentine's Day in Paris.

I can clean up and look good and be polite to your mom,
but
be a bad boy and even a little crude and nasty in private
whenever you want.

I can see the value in a quick fling and the rewards of
something longer.

I can balance my essential nihilism with a vauge hope that
nihilism might be wrong.

I cook and am good at grocery shopping.

I have an oral fixation.

I survived marriage to a ballerina, so I clearly have a
high prima donna threashold.

I like both fucking and making love and am experienced
enough to know the difference.

You can add me to your friendster friends through
bcalendar@aol.com

Someone who gets that the "interests" I have listed are a
joke.

Someone who will let me drink champagne out of their belly
button and other fun places.

Someone who likes to recieve oral sex.

Someone who can seduce me into trying things I have yet to
try.

Someone who can explain to me why getting a blow job is an
impeachable offense, while starting a war of aggression in
defiance of the UN is not.

This may be impossible, but someone else who found Holden
Caufield more annoying than admirable.

Someone who smells nice.

Someone who finds overpriced hotel rooms as sexy as I do.
Room service and high thread count sheets rock my world!

Someone intereted in talking to an American in France. Or
who will be visiting the south of France and would like to
have a friend or two when they arrive.

Or someone just interested in talking to a provocative
person.

Honesty is more i